Angry rant on telling the truth...and listening

OK this is an angry rant that I will share...maybe...if the language is clean.  I just spent about two hours on the phone (and you know I just love being on the phone) trying to straighten out our TV/internet bill.  I won’t tell you the company but the name has an “A” in it and two “T’s” just for a hint:)  The hard part is this whole ordeal came from a lie...I was lied to...to make a sale...not unusual I guess. Sad.  I was quoted a price, a low price, to join this company for my internet service and TV.  Now Barb and I had gone for quite a while without TV and really were quite content but this was pretty sweet deal...I thought.  How could a guy come into my own home without me calling him and then just lie to me?  I know to make a sale...well he did.  Lying...again right in my own home to my face...with no conscious...well I can say for sure he was not a follower of Jesus from our discussion...but still.  

What is it inside of us that makes lying so appealing...is it the sale..sure in this case, and you know it was a you a young guy with a family and he makes money from the sale...not making new friends?  I guess I struggle with the question, would I lie to make a sale?  To improve my stature in the eyes of others?  To move up the proverbial ladder?  I don’t think so...but...except for the grace of God maybe  I go there.  But the grace of God should empower us to say no to ungodliness, right? Paul says so in Titus...so it is in the Bible.  This guy did not have the grace of God working on his behalf and I do...so do you...is it working?  Is God’s grace directing you away from ungodly acts?  

I know when I was on the phone I wanted to scream and swear (well not swear too much) and try to bully someone to at least recognize I had been lied to and by their company.  The first four people I talked to (that’s right four with one more to come) kept telling me, “Well according to your bill this is the correct amount.” And I kept saying, “Well according to what I was quoted it is wrong!” (See no swear words) Back and forth, from one person to the next the same line, “Your bill is correct.”  I realized later all I really wanted or needed really was a listening ear, someone to actually hear what I was saying and tell me I had been lied to and they were so sorry.  Finally the last person they put me in contact got on the line.  Now you know if I was him and could see I had already talked to four of his peers before him, I would have asked for a bathroom break or left sick...but he waded in.  And he listened to me...he heard me...he believed me...he worked with me...he knew I had been lied to.  Finally. And he worked with me...he did what he could with no promises he could not keep.  It was so refreshing to just be heard...to sense some empathy coming from the other end of the phone.  He had  the same pat answers available to him the others had and yet refused to use them.  Even if he came back and said there was nothing he could do it was huge knowing he understood and refused to fall back on cliches and systems in place to try to placate an angry customer.  

I wonder how often I have came across people that just needed an ear to hear, no answers or counseling, just to be heard.  Someone treated them unjustly...maybe even another leader in the church...maybe me.  How often have I slipped into my Christian mode and let fly with some cliche...I will pray for you...God will work good for you...or worse.  When just being heard could bring healing, empathy shown without trying to answer and make everything better. Listen.  

I despise being lied to...to make a sale...to cover a sin...to promote themselves. I think one of the reasons politics leave me feeling so uncomfortable is all the promises being made with no intentions of being kept...isn’t that lying?  Feels like it to me.  And I have to say right beside being lied to is not being heard or listened to...just hear me out. I feel valued and honored if I am listened to and I suspect others do also.  Father I repent for times I quit listening maybe so I could say something that I thought would help.  You know as I think about prayer I realize God rarely interrupts, even the most selfish of prayers, but listens and hears...then maybe He responds...or maybe He just listens and you feel the silent nod that He understands...and is on our side.  

Well, this has been quite a ramble hasn’t it...cheaper than counseling.  Sor...no I am not sorry...it is my blog and I can rant about whatever I want!  Don’t you ever wonder what life would be like if we just knew no one would ever lie to us? And that when I had a need or had been treated unjustly or poorly I could go to someone and they would hear?  The hard part is the church should be that place...

Bill

To tell the truth

In John 18 there is this discussion between Pilate and Jesus that really captures our culture today.  Pilate says, “ You are a king then!  Jesus answers, “You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”....”What is truth?” Pilate asked.  What is truth?  In the Church we claim to know what truth is...well really Who truth is...but do we? I discovered again today that telling the truth may be harder than knowing the truth.  Cannot fathom why we decide it is easier to live telling the same lie over and over again hoping, I guess it becomes truth...at least to the teller...and hopefully to the hearer.  We have watched sports heroes, our government officials, and also our spiritual leaders stand up and deny wrong doing, over and over and over only to finally come forward, with tears maybe, and say oh yeah I guess I did do that after all.  Sorry...sorry??  Does that really cover it?  Sorry...can we now get on with life?  Now I can handle this pretty well with athletes, movie stars, and even politicians somewhat...but I expect more from the family of God...the leaders...pastors.  

I have told you before I came to this role very reluctantly...I did not raise my hand, jump up and down asking Jesus to please pick me.  Really I kept my head down and avoided making eye contact hoping to remain anonymous...let me just retire from Ford and travel the land.  Part of the reluctance has been things I have seen over the years of  being in the church.  How many times have I heard leaders preach, “don’t touch God’s anointed,” misusing the scripture to avoid accountability when in reality when God calls a man or woman to be a pastor he does not do it because “they” are really “special”...He does it because He can.  Man I am rambling now...I guess I wonder, like Pilate...what is truth...or why is it so hard to tell?  Can there be anything more draining than going to bed at night knowing I have to get up tomorrow and tell the lie again all day long hopefully getting to bed before the truth comes out...wow!  What a way to live! In Eph.4 Paul gives instructions on living as children of light...v,25 “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  Part of me wants to scream at Paul and say, “come on, of course we will speak the truth....we are Christians!”  Paul obviously knows much more than I do about human nature...Listen from the Message, “What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth.  In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all.  When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.” No more lies...no more pretense.  I think the biggest killer in the Church is trying to keep up some kind of facade to save face in front of others...living a lie...looking good on the outside when in the inside you are dying.  Listen I understand the temptation to keep appearances up...hoping we will get our act together and no one will find out...what they don’t know won’t hurt them...really?  It might not hurt them...you are right...but you are dying...inside...the weight of living a lie...keeping it hidden from others...maybe a spouse even.  Heavy.  I HATE RELIGIOUS PRETENSE...DESPISE IT...IT KILLS.  Jesus said He came to set the prisoners free...a part of that freedom He gave was freedom from living under a religious system that was more about how you looked than how your soul was.  One built on wearing robes and rings and having places of honor set up for you to sit at.  Pretense...not truth...everyone on His side, the side of Jesus listens to truth...listens to Jesus.  

A sinful woman breaks in on a “religious people only” party and falls at His feet and anoints His feet with her tears...pours an extremely expensive perfume on His head...and gets criticized...by religious people...pretentious people.  If He were a prophet He would know what kind of woman she really was...this perfume could have been sold and the money given to the poor...as if they cared about the poor...as if they cared about truth...as if they knew truth.  The only person in the room who got is was the “sinful woman.”  I wonder how she got the money for the perfume?  Probably do not want to know, do I?  You know what??? She was the only person n the room who knew the truth...the truth was she had great sin in her life and was extremely excited to meet the One who could give her freedom.  Everyone else was content to live under the pretense of their religion...they were fine..they were righteous...they were...wrong.  Truth was in the room and they could not hear Him or see Him...they enjoyed the pretense of living in truth over the real thing.  

This past Sunday I had to confess to my friends at church that I had lost something...I lost the understanding of what it meant to say that God was good. A wrestling match was going on inside of me...to know...to understand His goodness...outside of my experiences. Since I had lost that I could not longer pretend to believe it by beginning our services by saying God is good, all the time, because that is His nature.  I could not pretend any longer...then I could not hide it from those I consider my friends...I want it back...I believed a lie over the truth...the truth of His word...I was not listening anymore.  I had to tell someone so that I could be free from the guilt of that and begin my journey to get it back again.  If I stand in front and lead the congregation to say this short declaration but in my heart I don’t really believe it, I am living a lie, living a pretense...cannot do it. I want to hear...to be on the side of truth...on Jesus side.

Hopefully others will want to go there with me...well really with Jesus...I am on this journey towards Jesus and I want to go there with many...but it could be just a few...so be it...come Holy Spirit. What if we chose to live in the truth...knowing the truth...speaking the truth...no pretense...no need of pretense...what if??  I want to find out...don’t you?  It won’t be easy at first but it will come...don’t you want to be free?? I do...I never signed up to join a religion...I signed up to follow Jesus...the Truth...the Way..the life...CHOOSE LIFE...Please choose life.

Bill                                

Blowing in the wind???? Again....

This is another thought on “the wind” as it corresponds to motorcycle riding and then also in the church.  I won’t mention any names, but a friend of ours bought a motorcycle a few months ago.  He had ridden in his past so he was excited to get back on a bike again...his wife on the other hand was not real keen on the idea.  So he went through the process of getting his license by taking a class and was putting some time in on the bike getting acclimated to it again. Finally the day came when she climbed on the back for a ride...it went well and he was cautiously optimistic she would learn to like it.  

Now I am going to interject here, I have never recruited anyone to ride a motorcycle, never.  I know how fun it is and how much I enjoy it but I also know it can be seen as dangerous.  So I don’t recruit...period.  Barb on the other hand would want everyone to ride...and tells them so.  I have found we are like this with faith also, I am not a huge evangelist when it comes to my faith.  I mean I want everyone to know Jesus but I also think being a Christian is dangerous...it is so much more than going to church.  Jesus wants it all...and I am not always good at sharing that...He wants everything.  Now Barb goes for it because life is an adventure to be lived holding nothing back...dive in and enjoy the water! Sure He wants everything so just give it to Him!

So back to the story, we all went on a short ride this week end and something clicked for our friend...she is hooked!  She is ready to ride all the time...any time!  What changed for her?  The experience changed everything for her...she understands “the wind” thing now.  She said this, “ It's also----unobstructed vision---being able to see everything as it is, without any interference blocking the view.  (yet another analogy for life in the Spirit / clear vision.”  “Unobstructed vision” seeing clearly now that we cannot see normally...the KJV says in 1 Cor. 13:12 “For now we see through a glass, darkly.”  One day we will see everything more clearly but now we have an obstructed view...we long for an unobstructed view...which I do believe the Spirit brings to us on occasion...maybe not in everything but in increasing portions.  

Now as we enjoy the wind together I am again reminded that even in church where most of us long for the wind of the Spirit to blow...it offends some.  Or at least messes with their theology.  It is difficult to invite or recruit others to ride motorcycles...it can be dangerous and your hair will get messed up! (if you have any...I took care of that a long time ago)  It can even be difficult to invite people to come to church if we have to say, “Well we are not sure how this will go today...the wind is blowing and we make room for the wind to blow.” ( More common terms, “the Spirit is moving and we make room for Him to move.”) Not comfortable...can be messy...even dangerous I suppose.  Some will always choose to stay in the safe confines of their vehicles of choice...they can turn the air conditioning on when it is hot...heat on when it is cold.  They can stay dry if it rains...they can even roll the window down a little if they want to feel a little breeze.  They can choose. On a bike the choice is to ride or not...faster for more wind...slower for less...rain gear for rain...or pull over...either way you probably will get wet.  You will experience the elements...all of them...and you will have an unobstructed view.  The sky is all in view...the fields around you...the lake or the river beside you...trees and more.  All in view.  

We have decided to go for an unobstructed view in church life...now do not get me wrong, obstructions come along for sure but when you have experienced an unobstructed view you know the difference...and you will move to a better spot to see.  I don’t understand all there is to know about life in the Spirit...but I can tell you when the wind is blowing...and how the wind makes all the difference in the worlds.  As our friends fall in love with riding, they really cannot get enough...they want to ride all the time....as we fall in love with the Holy Spirit...we can never get enough...we want to be in His presence all the time.  As my friend Ray says when asked why he enjoys riding his motorcycle so much, “It’s the wind...it’s all about the wind.”  Why choose to go about church life like we do?  It’s the wind...it’s all about the wind.

Bill

Broad shoulders

I was thinking today...well it is Wednesday and that is a good day to start thinking

on, don’t you think?  Anyway I have said on here that I came into being a pastor pretty reluctantly, truth be told.  I have always joked that I was a worship leader and everyone likes the worship person...not always the same with the pastor:)  Just my observation.  Anyway so I reluctantly say yes to God’s call but I will also say I have not stayed in reluctantly but love what I do.  I think as we put off the expectations of others and rested in God’s expectations it has become even more joyful.  

This week I have had a couple more “father” moments to think about.  One, our former college pastor is now at another local church body.  This week he announced the vision and plans for his new adventure with God and while it is fun hearing him dream and plan...part of me wrestles with hurt and even bit of jealousy maybe.  This is one of “my” kid not theirs...I am so proud of him and yet want him to be where I am not over there.  He has a new vision...for a huge group of people...but what about the one he had here...to set the campus on fire for God?  Is it in there?  Oh well, I am 60 you know...I can feel a bit melancholy if I want to.  But I am SO PROUD OF HIM...it then becomes clear this is just part of being a dad...growing them up and they leave to go out on their own...hopefully knowing I have his back.

Met another young leader today...just got back from overseas trip...doing amazing kingdom things.  I have heard Pastor Bill Johnson talk about building things in such a way in the church, that our ceilings, our high points are the floors the next group will work from. I don’t want our young leaders to have to start from the ground up, as we like to say.  I want them to begin in the highest place and go up from there...higher and higher...bigger and bigger...better and better.  The image Johnson gave was them standing on our shoulders to be able to see better, to get a better view.  These two are two of many God has brought across our path and I have such a hopeful outlook for the Church if Jesus tarries a bit longer...it will be in good hands...it will go forward and higher.

I am at a point of my life where many of my friends my age are transitioning out of leadership...I am just transitioning in myself...so while it is getting closer to pass the baton it is not time yet...I am still running...slower...gimpier...enjoying it more.  Go get ‘em kids...just know I am still running with you...maybe in the back of the pack...but still running...cheering you on to greater things...but not dropping out.

Bill              

Dress Us Up~Lyrics

blowing in the wind????

Last week I mentioned we had been on a four day motorcycle ride with some friends in Indiana.  This really is a great group to hang out with and to ride with.  One evening we were sitting and talking and Don had a recollection of a conversation he had been in with Ray.  Someone asked Ray, what was it that Ray liked so much about riding motorcycles.  What was it that kept Ray coming back for more on his motorcycle? (Don’t worry this is not going to be a motorcycle recruiting story)  Ray quickly said, “It’s the wind, really it’s the wind.” (not sure if I have the exact quote but close enough for MY blog)  I thought about that this past week as I got on my bike one day, leaving the church after VBS.  I had the opportunity to meet my wife and another person for lunch...I headed that direction...and kept riding...just kept going.  The thought entered my mind of how much fun it would be to just keep going one day...see where I might end up...(well if I did not take Barb, I would end up in big trouble:)  

Then I thought, it is the wind that makes riding so enjoyable, something about feeling the wind blowing and not being cooped up in a car that just feels so freeing.  I am sure there other things that you may do that gives you the same feeling...but too bad, this is my story.  Well, Sunday after church I had some down time to reflect...I so enjoy our celebrations when we gather to worship and enjoy God’s presence.  I thought about what is it I so enjoy about this time we gather?  I have been in hundreds of worship services of different kinds and I enjoy most of them for sure.  But I really enjoy our times together...the worship, the kids, the chance to teach, all of it.  Then the thought came to me, “It’s the wind...I enjoy the wind in our services.” 

Wind!!!??? Now you may think I have lost my last marble, but hear me out.  If you remember in Acts 2 as the spirit fell on the believers it said, “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven.”  The Hebrew word “Ruah” is translated “spirit” also means, breath, air, wind...In John 20:22 “ And with that He breathed on them and said, “ Receive the Holy Spirit.”  The Spirit moves about and you cannot see Him...yet you can see the impact of Him moving on others...you may even feel Him move yourself. I talked to a young guy Sunday, someone kind of new to our celebrations...he said, “I don’t get it...during worship I will just start crying...no reason...tears.”  Me too...I don’t understand everything that happens when He moves about...but I so enjoy when He does.  

Jesus talks to Nicodemus in John 3 and He then says, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying, “You must be born again.” THE WIND BLOWS WHEREVER IT PLEASES. You hear its sound,  but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”     

Yeah...it’s the wind...I love the wind...But...but you know some people are not big fans (no pun intended) of the wind.  Wind messes up your hair...makes waves on the water...might cool things off a bit.  We have a willow tree in our front yard and if we get a big wind, our yard will be full of little branches that have to be cleaned up...by me!  Hate it. 

Wind in the church has some of the same effects...can cause a mess...move things around...”Blows where it pleases” Jesus said. The Spirit moves about and can irritate people...you know messing with schedules...sermon preparation...song lists.  Moves where He wants...who He wants...when He wants.  I prefer the wind moving to a room filled with stale air...don’t you?  So I guess what I am saying is, when I invite the Holy Spirit to come, I am asking for the wind move across the room and rearrange things, if need be.  

So what is it about motor cycle riding that makes it so enjoyable??? As my old friend Ray says, “It's the wind, man, it’s the wind.”  What makes the church gathering different from any other type gathering?  It’s the wind...all in the wind.  Without the wind it is stale and boring...I like the wind.  Come Holy Spirit, come.

Bill     

      

lessons on a motorcycle

Oh boy it has been a while again, not sure anyone minds though.  Lots of fun stuff going on this summer.   Also I have a few ideas on things I want to write about so I need to begin writing again...it helps me, for sure.  I think today I will write a motorcycle leadership story.  Even if it is not good it sounds kind of cool.

Last week Barb and joined four other pastor couples for a 2 day motorcycle ride in southern Indiana.  We absolutely love riding with these couples and look forward to it when we make plans to ride. One couple is usually in charge of the rides we go on, making the plans for the routes we take and places to stop and visit.  We stayed in an awesome retreat center south of Indy and that was our home base for three nights.  It was great!  What I am going to write may come off as criticism of my friend the leader but it really is not, it is just how things struck me and how the Spirit had me apply the lessons learned.  I believe pretty much everything we do, even motorcycle rides, can be teaching and learning moments.  

Anyway after our first hot day of riding our host decided to take us to a restaurant that was on a lake.  It was beautiful and well worth the ride.  As we were leaving there it was looking like rain...our plan was to leave there and head downtown Indianapolis and ride around there and then head back to the house.  So we hit a four lane highway for a while...it was getting dark and there was a lot of traffic.  Barb and I were the third bike in line as we rode towards what I thought was downtown.  We then got on a three lane road and were working our way through traffic...the leader wove in and out and we were following.  Finally I kind of gave up trying to speed through the traffic...trouble is the other two couples behind me stayed behind me as we watched the lead bikes kind of disappear over the horizon.  Now right here I have to confess I was angry and frustrated...I kept waiting to see the lead bikes pulled off the side of the road waiting for us...those who were following...nothing. The longer I road the more frustrated I got (my problem I think) not being able to figure out why, if we were going downtown, the leader would not make sure we were all there.  What is a leader without followers?  Finally I pulled off the highway to get gas and the others followed me in...now I am the leader?  As we talked I discovered we were not going downtown after all but back to the house we were staying at...might have been nice to know that...turns out we were the only ones who did not know...nice.  Also turns out we were only about 15 miles from home and through the wonder of modern technology and cell phone GPs we knew how to get there.

As we headed down the road towards our destination we came to our road to turn off the highway on and there sat our leaders...waiting....miles ahead but waiting.  We got back to the ranch and I expressed my displeasure to the leader and he explained his thought process...I did not agree but at least I knew he remembered we were riding with him...kind of!  So we rode the next day and everything was fine...but I thought a bit more about the situation and these are some of my thoughts...the thoughts of a regular guy.  

First I must state the obvious...you are not a leader if no one is following.  A leader leads someone, somewhere...If you go off and leave those following behind figuring they will catch up eventually...not good...at least in my mind.  If they know where you are going sure...but if they think you are going one way and you end up going another...does not work.  If we knew we are heading back to the house it is much different, but I thought we were going to a new place...one we had never been before...and the leader was no where to be found...hmmm.  

So the next lesson was one on communication, making sure everyone was on the same page...included in the discussion.  I felt totally lost and then discounted when I found out I was the only bike who did not know the change.  There were only five bikes total, should have been kind of easy to see that we all knew the destination.  If you are making changes...significant changes...communication is kind of important...too important to not try to make sure everyone knows where we are going.  If I have been to our destination before I might be able to find my way there...if not I am lost!

Then the last thought I had was as a leader...I have to make sure I care about those that are following...that I want them to get to the destination...with me.  I have to confess I could not have felt less cared for or about as I watched the tail lights disappear in the dark.  How could they not slow down?  Surely they will stop...nothing.  A leader, at least a leader in the church, has to care about those following.  Sometimes you have to look in your rear view mirror and make sure they are still there, following.  If they are not you have a choice to make...you can stop and wait...or you can speed on ahead letting them figure it out as they go.  I hope I would stop...even go back if need be...to see how they are doing.  

I was told we were trying to beat the rain back to the house...and we did!  Well truth be told I am pretty sure it has not rained there yet!  Probably could have walked back and beat the rain I guess:)  I think again as leader there are things out there, signs we read that may try to force us to move faster, to get ahead.  Well not at the risk of leaving people behind...again at least in the way I think...not saying I am right. Our leader is an excellent bike rider, way better than I, can go faster, turn quicker...all the  more reason to know who is following.  

He was excited about us being there...passionate to show us around...wanting us to have the best time possible...and we did...really.  Along the way I had a moment to learn a life lesson about leadership...maybe more than leadership it is about my role as a pastor...shepherd...it is just who I am...oh well.

Bill