Thursday, January 19, 2012

What a ride!

Have you ever had one of those Aha! moments?  One where you realize something is different...or you finally understand what your spouse is saying...well that is kind of big, but you get the drift.  A time where something becomes clearer to you or you are just kind of stopped in your tracks as you see something that, even though you have seen it many times before, it seems brand new.  Got it yet?  Well, I kind of had one last week, and you would think at 60 you might not have those moments again. With God all things are possible.
Anyway Barb and I were at some formational prayer training classes and in one of the small group activities I had an Aha! moment...kind of.  We were doing this exercise where we draw an outline of our bodies (that is not the me...think Michelin tire man:) on paper and then we stand in front of the form and write on the paper things said about us that have left a mark, or dysfunctional behaviors we might be involved in...then we write false beliefs we have about ourselves...then over all of that we write what Jesus would say about all of that stuff.  We did this last spring at a retreat we were at and it was kind of painful and emotional at the time...but this time what I noticed was much different this time.  I had to work at remembering things that hurt and false beliefs about myself...they were there for sure but not with the same intensity as in the past. As I pondered what was going on I realized...I am not the same guy was last year at this time.  Oh I look the same for sure...still miss my hair...still need to lose weight...but inside much different.  
Why would I share this?  To encourage anyone out there who feels like there is not much hope out there for them.  That there are some things that will never change...we are doomed to be this way until Jesus comes back. I have to believe if God can rewire me He can rewire others also...but I wonder how often we give up right before our healing comes.  Many times I felt like giving up in any pursuit of wholeness...Now I am not trying to tell you I am now going to challenge  Bill Hybels or John Maxwell and begin writing books on leadership...but I do feel comfortable in my own skin.  Barb will ask, “Why don’t you write a book?” and I will just shake my head and ask, “Who would ever read it?”  So am I going to write a book?  Not sure but now I have this sense of why not me? So we will see.
Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5 that we are a new creation...old things things come to us.  I knew this...I know this...and I am knowing this...I have always believed that as long as we follow Jesus, we keep being changed, we keep growing in is a journey not a sprint. I love this journey.  I am so blessed to be a part of a local church that has never expected perfection from me...but they deserve to have me continue to grow and experience God...and to pass that along.  
I have always questioned God why He called me to be a pastor...what was He thinking...why me?  Now I can say...why not me?  It is about Him not me...I would laugh and say, “He used a donkey, He surely can use me.”  Now I can see how He used fishermen and tax collectors to change the if I surrender all to Him, He can use a factory worker to change the world too.  What a ride! What a thrill! How thankful! How grateful! If you are not having fun chasing after Jesus...sorry.  I am having a blast...hope you will join me on this amazing journey.

1 comment:

  1. It's a good thing that we're not "qualified" for discipleship because, then, God wouldn't get the credit. Or ... we might (well, *I* might) try to steal some of the credit for myself.

    Here's a possible title for your book: "Are You Smarter than a Donkey?"

    Well, yeah, maybe I am a little smarter than a donkey ... but, did you know that donkeys are smarter than horses? It's true, but donkey intelligence just makes them stubborn.

    Just like me.