Did you know Jesus had a Plan?

 I am preparing to attend a two day prayer summit in a few days…actually helping lead it. Go figure. Sometimes when leaders get together, well anytime leaders come together, they want to know, “What is the take away?” Good question for busy men and women to ask themselves and those leading the event for sure. Now, I am not always one asking the good question or knowing the answer to the good question. I tend to think, “Let’s just see what the take away might be.” Yeah…no one will buy that tee shirt. “Let’s Just See!” Those hats and shirts will be shipped overseas somewhere or in my garage for my kids to discard of after I go home to be with Jesus. I am surrounded by other leaders, including my wife, so I don’t always have to be the “take away” explainer. Someone else will do that, thank you very much. 

This morning I wrote a devotion that I sent out to our church family and on Facebook. As I began my search for the scripture to work off of I found a very familiar story in the Gospel of John that seemed pretty safe to work from. I quoted these two verses; When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat? He asked this only to test him, for He had in mind what He was going to do.” John 6:5,6 I gave some inspirational words and sent it out. But I could not shake the words and the thoughts racing through my mind. Most of you will recognize this as the beginning of the story of Jesus feeding the multitude. Great story, awesome preaching material. I can see Jesus turning to Philip with a wry smile on His face, “Hey Phil, where is the closest bakery?” Phil swallows his gum and says,”It would take us eight months of offerings to buy enough that everyone could get one bite…one bite!” End of conversation…only I love how John says, “He had in mind what He was gong to do.” Jesus! I am shocked! Now another disciple said, “I grabbed this kids lunch…some fish and bread…does this help?” What

a story!

As I pondered, or it pondered me, I am not sure the order, I could not shake the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” Or Andrew offering up someone else's lunch to help out the cause. A friend of mine, a young leader in the city, has this audacious vision, from the Lord, to see 500,000 people come to know the Lord in our region. That is right…500,000. Sooooo you sense the Lord saying 500k. How do you do that? As an older, mature believer in the Lord maybe I should help let him down gently. You know…George…it was probably the pizza you ate. Not sure the Lord would ever have you dream that bi…what am I saying?!?!? 500k? We tend to  want to “save” people from a vision that is very large…too large. I have three words for you: Nin-e-veh! Yes, it is one word, Nineveh. 120k came to the Lord through a very reluctant evangelist. I digress. As I read John’s story today I could not shake off the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” When Jesus turned to Philip and asked how they could feed the people Philip’s reply really was…it is impossible Jesus…impossible. In Andrew, Jesus had someone who also thought it was impossible but had seen enough with Jesus to make a small contribution to the party. 

This is ministry! When He called me to be a pastor and plant a church my first response was “No thank you…that is impossible and improbable!” Eventually I had to come to trust, “He already in mind what He was going to do.” Like Andrew I brought my meager sack lunch, and yes it probably was someone else’s and said, “Here, this is what I have.” The Message translates verse six like this, “He said this to stretch Philip’s faith. He already knew what he was going to do. Jesus was not tricking Philip…He was stretching him. I tend to respond like Philip a lot, you know, being wise in the ways of the church and all. Practical is another word you could use. With Jesus we need to be Andrew…let’s throw in with Him and see what He is doing. Being practical is not always a kingdom word or thought. The call towards Jesus is a call towards mystery as well as ministry. I don’t know how many times I have cried before the Lord,“I do not know what I am doing! Why would you call me?” Now I can see…He already had in mind what He was going to do. We can beg out…or go all in. As a leader who came to the party kind of reluctantly it has always been helpful to know the story behind the story. Yes, He always calls us beyond our gifts and abilities…and He always has in mind what He is going to do. I hear people talk about “their” ministry…I don’t have one of those…I only have His…because…here it comes…He already has in mind what He is going to do!

As we gather at the prayer summit I do wonder what the take away will be. My suspicion is we won’t know much more when we leave than when we walked through those doors. (Don’t tell anyone;) The challenge is will we be overwhelmed at the huge task of taking our region for Jesus? Or will we throw in our fish and chips and join in with what “He already has in mind to do.” I am thinking this is the bottom line of ministry…of leading…finding out what He has in mind…joining Him. 

Bill

Who??? Why??? Well Why Not?

                     Why a “Prayer Summit”?

We thought it might be good to give you all a little personal insight to who we, Bill and Barb Herzog, are. First off we are parents to two amazing grown up kids and grandparents to six awesome grandkids! Barb is a P.K. and being in a small church most of her Christian life she always wondered why other churches seemed to be off limits. No fellowship or working together rather mostly being protective of who they were. I, Bill, was not raised in a church environment at all yet when we married we knew there had to be more to this church thing than what we were experiencing. So one of the first things we did was help organize a youth event where we attempted to bring Methodist, Baptist and many others together for a week long revival meeting held at the local high school nearby. It was not very large but groups like Campus Crusade helped out and friends we had made in a variety churches came on board and we were hooked. We knew the Church was much better together than scattered about. God birthed His heart of unity deep inside of us.

Over the years we have cultivated many friendships with like minded men and women wanting to see God’s kingdom break in knowing His Church was the vehicle He loved. Barb directed an event called March for Jesus back in the 90’s, yes that long ago. This event was primarily a vehicle to worship Jesus in the streets and to bring His body together. At the pinnacle a reported 20,000 participated...marching in the streets, worshipping Jesus together under one banner. One thing we discovered doing March for Jesus is that the average believer had very little problem working together...many of the leaders did. It seemed odd to us that this would ever be a problem. Didn’t Jesus infer that our love for each other would speak to those around us who do not yet know Him? Didn’t He pray for our unity? 

So our hearts are for the whole Church. We planted our church in 1994 not thinking we were going to be bigger or better but sensing the call of the Lord. We so relied on our friends who were already doing it, asking for help, counsel and friendship. Every Sunday after worship we take time to pray for one of the local churches around us. This has worked to remind our church family two things...we are not the only show in town and we are not alone in taking the message of Jesus to a lost and confused world. At one point, just a few years ago, we were part of some “Worship and Healing” nights held at a Lutheran church with a number of churches leading and working together. About three years ago four or five of us gathered to help some friends put an event together.  We kept meeting, moving around the city, well, around northwest Ohio and asking other Pastors to join in.  The group eventually put the name Merge on what we were doing because that was what we saw God doing, merging our hearts together for each other, for our city and region. We worship, pray for our cities, the local church we are meeting in, for each other and then we eat together. It has been amazing to watch leaders clear their calendars to be together. So many stories of lives touched by the prayers prayed and the relationships developed. Two summers ago we put our heads and hearts together and brought in a equipping event called Power and Love. About 25 churches supported the event and up to 800 people gathered to be encouraged and trained to go and share our faith

We now sense God moving us towards the Prayer Summit. To maybe go to another level relationally and spiritually. What might it mean for the pastors in our area to gather with no agenda other to pray and listen. Then to sit together and discuss what we heard. Don’t you think that might be pleasing to the Lord? Do we have faith that He might actually speak to us? A time of fasting, a prayer event in the city and the leaders of his Church praying together and talking….sounds like a God thing to me. Why listen to us? No real good reason...we are just two of His children that love the Church and have a strong desire to see Him lifted high in our city. Don’t let us persuade you...let Him.

Bill and Barb Herzog              

Sixty-Six Reasons People are Leaving the Church! (this is going to be good;)

Sixty-six reasons people are leaving the church today…kind of catchy isn’t it. Do I have sixty-six reasons to write down…maybe, but my ADD would kick in way before I could get to ten so let me just confess to you that I am trying to ride the wave of popularity right now. Yep…I am going to throw my hat into the ring as an expert on why people…young…old…black…white…you know, people, are leaving the Church. First off, the people leaving are obviously not Calvinist because they would know they are pre-destined to be in church…well, maybe they are pre-destined to leave. Oh, this gives me a headache. Let me start over. I am a persistent checker of all things Facebook, which may be my biggest problem, or at least does not help. I would say on the average I will see one or two posts a day where someone is posting an article on why people are leaving the church…or not worshipping…or why men hate it…or why women hate it. You get the point. The Church is a mess. I get it. I think I can help out here a little bit…not a lot but I think I have some deep insight into the problem with the church. I know who to blame here, who has screwed it up. Could it be the “seeker sensitive” church? Or the crazy “charismatics”? Maybe the traditional churches with their hymns and liturgy? The ones where the sermons are too long…or maybe where they are too short? Where they preach the real word of God, the Bible…or the guys who are nicer and use the Message? 

Listen can I take a short cut here and just get it out in the open? The real reason people are leaving the church…well other than they are spoiled? The problem with the church: People. Yep, that is it. The church is full of people…if we can clear them all out the church will be a much better place. Think about it. If you have left the building it is because of a person…someone did not preach good enough, no real fellowship, the music was too loud or they sang it in too high of a key. No one said hello to me or too many people said hello, some fellow human failed you. Most likely it was the Pastor…he let you down. 

So that leads me to the second problem: it is run by people, kind of similar to the first I suppose. Pastors, Reverends, Priests, Ministers, whatever you call them are first and foremost…people…human beings. I am going to blow the cover off a deep, hidden secret…we are not special because we are Pastors. Now I know this will offend some of the people in this group but get over it…you are human. Sure the church is messed up…God left it in the hands of people. I am pretty sure I am the number one reason people leave our fellowship…I could give you a litany of reasons but for my sanity I won’t. As I see it God is not the problem…so it has to be us…people…and pastors are a big part of it. If only when a person said yes to being a pastor the Spirit would swoop in and do a total make over. We could be Billy Graham, Andy Stanley, T.D Jakes, Joel Osteen all rolled into one. We would have all of John  Maxwell’s leadership principles memorized and worked out, we could walk on water if need be and turn water into wine for communion. If only…He doesn’t. So let’s quit beating around the bush on why people are leaving…just come out and say it…people are leaving because of…people…humans in leadership has to be a problem. There…it is out in the open…maybe now we can see the end of the seven reason why articles. The elephant in the room has been revealed. 

As a pastor I take this seriously and personally. I spent the first half of my life as a Jesus follower not as a pastor but as a participant. We served wherever needed. Later in life I responded to the call or maybe I just filled a need but I became a pastor. Funny thing is, I never wanted to be one…that was never a goal. And even funnier, God did not “fix” me when I said yes, He took me as I was. I surely was not perfect. There were much better prospects out there besides me…and we have to know that is how it is in every church. Every leader is just human…not super-human…human. With cracks and flaws. I think then as we try to make up for our flaws, if we are not careful our role becomes more important than God’s role. We are not the head of the Church, Jesus is. I am not that important…He is. When I read criticism of the Church, I do take it personal and I am offended when we try to fix it with new gadgets and ideas. The Church belongs to Jesus…it is His. I think maybe we should give it back. I think when I read the criticisms they reek of our selfishness and if we could stop for a moment and remember the Head we might see our criticism is pointed towards Him. I love the line, “I love Jesus just not the Church.” Tell me…how does that work? I try to imagine me going to Barb and saying, “ I really love your head, but the rest of you is not so good.” After I picked myself back up off the floor I could try to explain myself…or just see the idiocy of the comment. So you can take the Head…just leave the body flop around on the ground. Sounds weird to me. “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. (now that is not very kind John) For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 

1Jn.4:20  I will get accused of taking this out of context but read it again…John is writing to the Church…he is taking away your/our right to say, “I love Jesus just not the church.”  Let me close with the words from a modern poet.

“I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite. Because nobody goes to church because they are perfect. If you’ve got it all together, you don’t need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church you’re confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who greet you there, that you don’t have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability. You need some help.” - Rich Mullins    

Obviously I have about sixty-four more reasons to point out…so maybe I will re-visit this subject again. But let me ask some of you a favor…especially if you are one who has posted the famous “Seven reason why” posts…re-post this. Maybe Charisma News will notice…or Christianity today. This could be my be break…and if you will not re-post this…then stop posting the others. It really does not help.

Bill

Ian teaches on leadership

A while back my grandson Ian and I wrote stories together about our adventures. He would take them in to have his grade school teachers read and we got great reviews;) I am going to share a few of them on my blog and work them into some leadership thoughts. Here goes!

A long, long time ago there was a man called Papa…well that is what his grandson, Ian called him. Ian and his mom lived with Papa and grandma for a while and there was a special bond between grandpa and grandson. Now there is a special bond with all grandkids and grandparents but, I have to admit, a little more when they are under your feet, I mean roof. I am Papa…and I want to talk a little about our story…Ian and me. See we did lots of stuff together, vacations and mowing the grass and even writing some stories. I wish we had written more…see when you have a little boy or girl they do not stay little for long. They grow up and move to bigger and better things. Oh, I see him a lot but it is different…he is getting older. But we have great stories. Stories of snake catching (Ian not me), rafting down a river, fishing for flounder late at night. Lots of stories. I am sure I taught Ian a lot of things but he taught me a lot also. 

Let me tell you about the fishing for flounder night…in Papa’s eyes an awful night…in Ian’s…an adventure. 

One evening, in North Carolina, everyone was sitting around doing very little when all of the sudden Chris brought his big, flat boat up to the dock. He said he was going fishing for flounder and wanted to know if anyone wanted to go. Of course Ian said yes and grandma said she did but Papa, well I said no thanks. As I looked out towards the boat I saw Grandma coming back.  “Aren’t you going out on the boat?” I asked. “No,” she said, “ they are going to be out way too late for me.” Well, I could see Ian still wanted to go so I grudgingly headed out to the boat. Uncle Butch and John were going and Ian was already in the boat so I thought I better go so I could be with Ian.Now looking for flounder is kind of a slow thing to do and takes a lot of patience. You go out at night in a boat with these big, bright lights that shine in the water. Flounders lay on the bottom and if you spot one you take this long spear they call a gig and you plunge it into the water and try to spear the fish. We had to point the boat towards the shore and then just drift along the shoreline with the lights shining in the water. Chris would shut the boat motor off and then start a generator on the boat to send electricity to the lights. The generator was loud and the heat from the motor was blowing right on me. Butch, John and Chris were pushing the boat along the shoreline with their long poles. Ian was up front watching everything going on. They saw crabs, cans, cups, bottles, and some fish but no flounder. John speared cups and cans but no fish. Ian then came back to where Papa was and laid down and fell asleep. The heat and the roar from the motor put him to sleep. He slept and slept. My back ached, I could not move, the hot air off the generator was blowing right on me. Finally we headed back with no fish. Hallelujah! Next, I had to carry Ian out of the boat, up the steps and into the bedroom with grandma and great-grandma. Grandma asked me how it went. I said it was awful. It was hot and it was noisy. It was boring and I never want to do it again! I was kind of cranky that she had tricked me into going. I left the room and grandma asked Ian what he thought. Ian sat up and said it was awesome. He saw crabs and he saw fish and he saw cans and bottles and he saw a stingray. It was so much fun! He loved it! It was a big adventure and in his eyes it was an amazing trip.  Great-grandma and grandma laughed and laughed. It was as if Ian and I had been on two different trips but they had been on the same one…the same boat! Ian saw it through the eyes of a young adventurer and I saw it through the eyes of a bored adult. I wished I could see through Ian’s eyes because those are the same kind of eyes God Himself has. We all need to see this wonderful world through the eyes of a child filled with wonder. Jesus said we are to come as little children…and I think he means like Ian…eyes filled with wonder and awe. Filled with innocence and joy. I learned so much from being with Ian. 

That story right there is filled with patience, wonder and awe. I find as I move along in life, wonder and awe can be taken from you so easily. We take the beautiful sunrises for granted or the colors of the trees in Fall. We see through eyes that have been trained not to trust anything or anyone. Loss of innocence. That is what being with Ian helped me hang on to I think…innocence…child like trust. 

Leaders tend to lose their innocence pretty quickly I think…if we are not careful the disappointments of this world make us skeptics. We become cynical and view things through a dark colored lens. Hanging out with kids helps me to lose some of my cynicism…I remember the movie “50 First Dates” where everyday the girl woke up not remembering anything from her past. It was frustrating for the boyfriend  but think about not having to unpack all the things we have been through to see the world the way Ian did…it was a blast. Why? His lens was not corrupted…I think a leader has to fight to keep our lenses clean of the past to enjoy each day for its own. Thanks Ian! I will never forget that trip…though I have tried;) 

Bill

Friends Matter

Well…it has been quite awhile hasn’t it? While I think things are going quite well since my parents passing it is also obvious there is still some more of the journey ahead. Anyway Barb and I just finished a 3500 mile ride to the Florida Keys and back, with stops in Charleston and the Outer Banks and more with some great friends. To be honest I wondered how I would physically fair on such a ride since I had never attempted anything that long before. We had done rides that were 250 to 350  miles in a day before and by the end it was kind of hard getting on and off the bike. We had a great time! My bike is 12 years old so I wondered how it would do…it did fine…used lots of gas towing a trailer behind it but it was cool. Our guide, Ray, did a nice job keeping the days manageable and yet making nice progress. 

There were four of us riding down together from Kentucky and this made it enjoyable and challenging. We had some interesting moments as one bike would lose power going up large hills in Kentucky. Doing 75 or 80 and then all of the sudden he drops back a ways…then as we slow down to wait he would blast past us once he got it going again. (yes I did say 80 mph…our leaders idea…not mine;) Then…we hit Atlanta…at rush hour…I do not know why they call it rush hour when the traffic comes to complete halt. It was warm…very warm and one of the bikes clutch began to overheat so we pulled over in a divide in the highway…and sat and waited for the clutch to cool down. Now here is where I began to think about a few things. I know the guy whose bike it was begins to feel bad because he is holding us up…but not really…the traffic was crawling! But you do feel the pressure of being the guy whose holding things up. In this time as we waited for the bike to cool off we worked on another plan to get out of Dodge, I mean Atlanta. Danny, (I might as well use names here) took the lead with his trusty GPS and led us away from the traffic.

It was a moment when you realized you needed to slow down or even stop so you could come up with a better plan…to adjust and find a new way. I think life is like this…moments when it seems like we are going nowhere may be the times where we can make more progress by re-thinking our situation. And the guy who felt like it was his fault for us stopping then leads us through an unknown city to a better place. Maybe he was not holding us up but helping us reboot the system and move forward. 

So we moved along…until Ray’s trailer began swaying wildly on the highway. We all pulled over and discovered he had a flat tire. Not good when you only have two to begin with and you do not get to carry a spare on a motorcycle. We put some air in the tire and limped to the next exit. Joe had a repair kit so we looked and found the nail and did a quick repair. I found it so comforting to not be alone on this journey. How would you react to this on your own? Ray did not even know the tire was flat…Danny got his attention. Someone else looking out for you on the road…someone else to notice you have a situation going on you were not aware of. So many want to travel this journey of life alone…not to be bothered by others. Sure where you travel with friends sometimes their breakdowns becomes your breakdowns. Their emergency stops demand you stop also…but sometimes you are the one who needs to be surrounded by others who care enough to stop with you. Even if they cannot fix it, which it ended up we could not do with Ray’s tire, you are not alone as you ponder the next step. I found it refreshing that even in the breakdowns along the way there was much laughter as well as care. 

At one point I became the guy holding things up…I ran out of gas. Sigh…a half mile from a gas station…two miles from our destination that night. After a long day of riding in hot weather I run out of gas…not smart. No one said much. Ray stayed with me as Joe, Janice and Danny went ahead to the gas station. They come back with a brand new, red gas can and a gallon of gas for my bike. Of course they bungeed the red can to the back of my bike so I could be reminded of my mistake. But again much laughter and much help….traveling together…with friends. In my time of need they came through for me…no judging….a lot of teasing….my wife did have to post on Facebook my dilemma. She was hungry and I was holding up dinner:) 

I always come away from our rides feeling much wiser and much more connected. I cannot imagine not having these rides to look forward to…the conversations…the laughter…the tears. All part of the package…I tend to want to be alone…to not bother anyone and maybe even not to be bothered. In this journey we are on following Jesus…we are a body…connected by our hearts to one another. Some look at the Church like it is “the” problem…its’ leaders also. I see the Church as something miraculous that only God could have imagined…and I see so many of the leaders as people like me…broken…but being put back together by Jesus. No one is claiming perfection…only healing. Like the bikes on the trip…I can over heat…be flat…run out of gas…but as long as I am traveling in a group…I can get back on the road again. The longer I journey with Jesus the more I realize I am desperate for Him…and need His Body to walk with. As a leader I don’t think we are called to walk alone or to have all the answers. I think as a leader you have to know who you are…and who your friends are…and let them speak into your blind spots…and be a source of comfort when you need comfort.       

As John said in his gospel…there are many more stories that could be told but not enough room in one blog. He did say something like that right? 

Bill

Thoughts while living in a fog

A friend suggested I write about my journey in life since mom and dad’s passing. I tried…did not go so well. I think it may have helped me some, but nothing I felt was readable. I came to realize it is hard to write…think…lead when you are in a fog. Mentally. That is what it felt like…a thick fog. The kind that if you were driving your car you would feel like you might need to pull over and stop…but where? You cannot stop in the middle of the highway and you are not sure what it looks like on the side of the road. You miss the exit signs because of the fog so you keep moving along. Slowly but moving. Really wanting to get off the highway for a moment…but cannot find your way off. 

Then there is the tired feeling…being exhausted…and yet you still keep moving. Sometimes the tiredness was almost physically painful…you felt like it hurt to move…so you don’t…can anyone say “couch potato”? And we don’t even watch TV! But there was an overwhelming desire…to not move. You live in a fog and you are exhausted. A great combination…especially for a leader to have. Follow me! Where? I am not sure…the fog is thick. Follow me! Where…you are not even moving. Well, it should be easy to keep up then. Soon I will move…soon.

The guilt you end up feeling when you know you are supposed to be leading others and you cannot find strength to lead yourself is off the charts. Romans seven takes new life during this time…what I want to do I don’t do…and what I don’t want to do…that is what I do. I think pastors suffer guilt in an area like this more than other leaders…but everyone goes through similar things…I am  not trying to say mine is worse than yours…just different. If I was leading a business the fog and exhaustion would still have been real…and I would have had to go to work every day. I know. I think as a spiritual leader it becomes difficult when you think everyone is depending on you to be there and to be strong. 

During this time we had at least one family leave our fellowship…people do leave. They did not talk with us but through to the grapevine we heard they did not like the “new direction” the church was going in. I must admit it caught me off guard…I did not even think we were moving and now I find out we have changed direction. Maybe in the fog we were moving. I did not think so. Sooo they leave…and no matter how you cut it…I take the blame. It must be me…what else could it be? This is the struggle…should I have pulled off the road…taken some time away…to be able to let the fog lift? Would that have made a difference? The life of a regular guy…in leadership. 

The strange thing is I thought I was prepared for my parents dying. Really, I did. Mom had been kind of gone for over three years and my dad, the strongest guy I have ever known, was slipping away pretty quickly. I wrote about how they died, dad passing away pretty quickly and then when mom found out he was gone she died within twenty four hours, some of her last words being, “I’m coming dad, I’m coming.” Gone. One week end and both parents gone…I do think the trauma of it all was deeper than I thought at first. Getting the news mom was gone while at my dad’s showing was strange and difficult for sure. Watching my daughter in agony over losing her best friend and not being there with her was awful…and my sister. Awful. Kind of wanted to get angry with mom….really mom…you could not wait another couple of days? But she couldn’t…and I don’t blame her. 

Anyway I thought I was prepared…not so much. Well, I was and I was not…who could be really? So the fog settles in…and you go through the holidays, your first holiday season without your parents. Emotions all over the map. I was able to step back from preaching at the church. Other leaders stepped up and helped out. Then we move into the New Year…and into one of the worst winters on record. Snow…cold…really cold…lots of snow…every Saturday and Sunday. For many this means nothing…for a pastor it means a lot. I would get calls, texts and e mails, “Are we having church?” It had not even began snowing yet…do we or don’t we? Should we or shouldn’t we? We did. But this all added to the fog…thinking about attendance…finances…etc. Dark cloudy days…so cold you did not want to go outside anyway…even if you were not in a fog and tired. 

One of the things that really helped get me through these dark days was definitely God inspired. We begin the New Year as a church family on a 21 day fast, just focusing in the Lord. During this time we send out daily devotions that, in the past, I and a team of writers would contribute writings to be sent out in e-mail form. This year I felt like the Lord wanted me to do the writing and I was not really sure why. We have some very talented people. Now I see it was as much to encourage me as it was to lead the people. At the end of the 21 days I kept writing, short, simple devotions built on God’s word. I did cut it down to five days a week not writing on the week ends. It has had a two fold effect. One it has kept me in a devotional state of mind…each morning, me sitting with the scriptures seeking out what the Spirit is wanting to say…to me…to others. Most are really sparse. I felt like this was not a teaching time, a time to make a point theologically, but a time for connection. With God. So it has kept me connected deeply and quietly when I felt like I could not see two inches in front of my face. So even on Sundays I could speak out of an overflow of my heart not a deficit. Not re-hashing old messages just to get by. 

The second effect is that even in my foggy state of mind I could still pastor my friends. I could share my devotions with others…and let them in on this journey with me. I know everyone does not get the e-mails or even if they do will read them but many do. I get feedback that lets me know they are connecting…even from people who are not part of this body but have visited or see them on Facebook. God moves in mysterious ways…and by this simple discipline of writing a devotion the fog has begun to lift. I have my prayer people praying for me…I have family support…and I know God still moves in and around me. Nice. Without this writing I would have slipped into a deeper depression I think…I would have lost my early morning time with God. I would have. But instead of me trying harder God moved closer…much better. I could come get a drink and then share it with friends. It has been a good thing…a real good thing.

You know, as a pastor in a fog, no one hits a pause button on life…saying we will wait for you to get out of the fog before we tell you the wheels have come off our marriage. Or we are moving…or leaving…not you it is us. People don’t stop having hard things happen to them…family members dying…losing jobs…getting sick. Life still happens. No one says, “ I bet Bill is still struggling with grief…maybe that is why we seem to be moving in a new direction.” Nope…just good bye…well not even that. Just gone in 60 seconds. I know people leave the church…every day…I can tell myself that. Does not help much. 

If this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself, I am not really. I can introduce you to many friends who have had much harder things than this happen to them. Much harder. It is not that. I just want to say I think, well I know, the fog is lifting. It does lift. It tries to come back but it cannot stay as long as it would like. Energy comes back too, though I have never been an over energized person anyway;) 

          

I am coming out of the fog and I know when I do come out I will be a different person, pastor. I love it where Jesus says, “The Father is always working.” He is always working…on me and you. He is not working in me because He is disappointed in me or I am such a mess He is embarrassed by me. He works in me because He loves me…deeply. One last thought and i know this is much longer than I like to write. Worship. Worship helped me along the way. To be able to worship with friends on Sunday was life giving. God met me over and over again in worship. The fog lifted as I worshipped. It might come back…not during worship. It may have been selfish of me at times but I would let worship go on and on because I could be in His presence again. Like in the mornings but different. I think because many of my friends were there with me…and it was safe. 

Anyway there some thoughts form a regular guy… 

wisdom, courage and kindness...word for today's leaders

The National Director (not a real fancy title is it?) of our Association of churches delivered a message to the leaders of the Vineyard a few weeks back in St. Louis. Barb and I heard the message again in Sunbury, Ohio at a conference there.  As we listened to the message it became obvious this was a very timely, prophetic word to the Church...not just our Vineyard tribe but even the larger Church needs to hear it. 

Some background material, Phil Strout, the National guy, told us that the Lord had given him three prayers to pray in his life. The first one he prayed for about eleven years and the next one twenty plus. As He and his wife assumed the national role the Lord woke him up and said he had another prayer for him to pray. The Spirit told him he would need to pray for three things in this next season of life. That sounded fair enough and he asked the Lord what that would be. The Lord said he would need to pray for wisdom, courage and kindness as he moved forward. I know as you first read these words we might say, “Of course we need to pray for that...well the kindness thing seems a little out of place. But wisdom...courage sure.” But that is the beauty and wisdom of the whole message. Wisdom but no courage or even courage but not wisdom really does not make much of an impact...especially for a leader. Then kindness wraps it up in a package that communicates the Lord’s message so well. Who is not tired of angry faces and words depicting who the church is?

Sure, in Phil’s role as a national leader this makes sense but I think it is an important word for any level leader today. We are seeing whole denominations bow to the culture...exchange the truth for a lie. Calling evil good and good evil. Leaders by the hundreds are taking non-biblical stances to appease those around us, as if that would win them over. Wisdom, courage and kindness is exactly what will be needed to journey in and communicate with a culture that is bent on defying God and His way of life. I know of leaders in our own tribe caving to the pressure thinking it is the kind thing to do, to be accepting and affirming. Paul says, “God’s kindness leads us to repentance.” not acceptance. 

Phil referenced Joshua 3:1-5 as he talked about all the Lord had showed him. One thing to point out, this was not a light hearted word the Lord delivered to Phil. He laughs some now but as he received it it was heavy word that he did not share with Jan for a few months. Joshua three is when the children of Israel are preparing to enter the promise land and the Lord gives Joshua some directions on how to go. The priests and the Levites would lead carrying the ark of the covenant, which is the Lord’s presence. He told Joshua to stay back a little to keep an eye on the ark to know where to go. Verse 4 says, “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” The key message...Phil, you have never been this way before. Key message to the Church...Church you have never been this way before. What would we need to go, to lead, in a place we have never been before? Wisdom, courage, and kindness. 

In Joshua one the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous, then he amps it up a bit and says to be strong and “very” courageous. That makes you pause a moment doesn’t it? But Joshua also had this promise from the Lord, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.” Josh.1:5  You really have to know the faithfulness of this God we have been called to follow...to be able to lead others in their journey with God. Courage...not heroism or bravery...courage. John Wayne, that great theologian, said, “Courage is being scared to death, but still saddling up.” (OK i am not sure this fits or not but I liked it!) Maybe courage is just knowing Who has your back...or Who is out in front. I suspect as a pastor it is knowing Whose Church it really is. Whose word it really is. Who stands behind it all. This is not a time for the Church to bow to culture like it is cultures lap dog! (Phil said this too...I like it.) I am not advocating picking a fight...I am saying let’s trust Jesus when He said the gates of Hell would not prevail against His church. Let God be true and every man a liar…in Joshua 1 as God is giving Josh instructions His main message was “stay true to the word.” “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night.” Josh.1:8  I am sorry, well not really, but this is what I see so many doing…leaving behind the words of God to make culture happy.

for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Prov.8:11 Wisdom is a precious gift to the church...James says to ask for it...Paul says Jesus has become our wisdom...Proverbs is all over wisdom. I think at times operating with wisdom would mean asking better questions and listening more intently. I find reading the Gospels inspiring when I see the questions Jesus asks at just the right time. Sometimes His questions just quiet all the commotion around Him...shuts down His accusers. Sometimes the questions lead the person to the answer they were searching for and maybe did not even know it. In the garden God calls out to Adam,”Where are you?” It was meant to bring Adam out into the light...then a series of questions happen...to help Adam see what has happened. 

Jesus asked brilliant questions...and did give wise answers. In the time and season we live in, to respond, “The Bible says.” brings derisive responses...outside the church...and in. I am not saying we back away from the scripture but we need to lean into it and know it and faithful to it. Jesus lived it from the inside out. Yes He could quote it…but He also lived it. We need to be able to communicate to a people who do not believe in the scriptures the truth of the scriptures. Proverbs 1:20,21 “Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateway of the cities she makes her speech.”  

Wisdom has a voice...makes some noise...tries to get our attention. Will we listen? We will attempt to hear? In a time when knowledge is glorified wisdom is needed. I have watched attempts by many to use tools of secularism to reach the culture. Business models and such...not all bad...until those practices take precedence over scripture. Then it goes bad. Some of my peers are now taking positions that cannot be supported by scripture...so scripture is explained away. I have to ask...if the church and its‘ leaders don’t place a high value on scripture...who will? Paul said he “became all things to all people.” and I don’t think he meant he discarded scripture to reach everyone...I think he discarded religion. 

God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? Rom.2:4  Kindness...not to be confused with being nice. I can remember reading a statement from John Wimber and I do not have it exact but in a time when he was getting a lot of criticism he reminded others, “Our brother is never our enemy.” To be heard and to live with wisdom and courage in this season will take the kindness of God in our words and deeds to be heard and seen. In a culture that screams at you how tolerant it is...we know it is not. When debate has been handed over to bullying it will take radical kindness to reach others. We are not conservative talk show hosts whose job is to talk over the other opinion and try to overwhelm them with our volume of words and sound. As Steve Sjogren has said...it will take a Conspiracy of Kindness.  

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Prov.15:1

Folks...the prayer God gave Phil is not for him alone...it is for all of us. Whatever our role is in the Church...it is going to take wisdom, courage and kindness to be able to point people to Jesus. I cannot remember a message that has so stirred me like this one has...I hope the leaders in our tribe who heard it will pass it on...duplicate it. I know I have only given a small glimpse in...so much more to be said...and heard. 

Courage will allow us to stand in the face of a culture demanding we bow to it…wisdom will give us the questions to ask and the answers to give…kindness will allow it to be heard. When you read those verse in Joshua three as Joshua works through the crowd of people he says “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”  Josh.3:5  Who does not want to see God do amazing things among us? Then let us lead with wisdom, courage and kindness…and see what the Lord will do among us. 

If anyone would like to hear the message in its fullness you can go on the Champaign/Urbana Vineyard website click on the tab take the best and go and then click on the one with Phil’s name in it and watch Phil deliver it in January or go on the Sunbury Vineyard website and listen to it.