Truth Mangled

 “ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,” Eph.6:14

Truth…is anything being trampled on today more than truth? I listen to a doctor in an interview before Congress report that a man can have a baby…can get pregnant. He says it with a straight face…to the point I think he is even beginning to believe the lie he is telling us. I am not going to get into the weeds but let’s be clear here, truth is being trampled and buried and Paul writes to us and says put on the belt of truth…to be able to stand. And please don’t anyone give me the that is your truth but this my truth story…weak at best.  As I spoke about this at church, Holy Spirit gave me the image of Jesus standing in front of Pilate, the pagan ruler. Remember Pilate’s question to Jesus, he kind of spits it out in contempt. “What is truth?” John 18:38 

Stop for a moment to meditate on the scene. Jesus has already been beaten by the religious leaders…beard pulled out, spit on, bruised and bleeding, Jesus stands there and hears the words, “What is truth?” I do wonder why Jesus did not respond to Pilate right then…He could have simply said, “I am.” Truth was inches away for Pilate, covered in spittle and blood and heading to even more torture, as if that could stop truth. Jesus told HIs followers that He was the Truth, Truth is a person. He stayed quiet and let the beating go on…as I re-read the story and let it settle in I realized Holy Spirit was reminding me that this is what a fallen world does to truth. It tries to beat truth into submission, telling lies about it, distorting it, shredding it until it can be difficult to recognize it. The story goes on with Jesus going to the cross and the cry of the religious and the fallen world is to crucify truth because if truth dies we can go on living in our lies. Can you hear the nails being driven into truth? The groaning as the soldiers lift the post up to drop into a hole, jarring bones and tearing flesh. You can almost hear the father of lies gloating that finally he has killed truth. 

The stone rolled over the cover of the tomb…truth has died. But has it? The evil one did not understand eternal life or resurrection, he had no space for truth. And truth rises to overcome evil…the season we live in culture believes it is killing truth again. Angry voices still cry out to crucify truth…and Paul says to strap truth on as a belt so that in these days we can stand…we do not fight flesh and blood…never, but we stand against the one who lies and when he lies he is speaking his native tongue. 

The images of Jesus before the Sanhedrin and Pilate are brutal images and yet I cannot take my eyes off them. I can get a little disheartened as I listen to fallen culture rage but then I remember this…yes truth is bloodied and yes it can seem like truth is being overcome by lies…but Truth is a person who so loved this world that He died for it. The same world that was ugly enough to crucify a sinless man, the same world that has lost its bearing concerning truth…is the same world He died for…Truth lives and because He lives…I can face tomorrow. Jesus prayed for us like this; Sanctify them by[a] the truth; your word is truth.  John 17:17   I cannot shake the images of Truth being crucified and beaten…I don’t want to…

 Mike Yaconelli in his classic book(I think it is a classic) “Dangerous Wonder” briefly touches upon savoring a moment with God. I am sure others have used it also but it struck me deeply...I suspect because we might speak of savoring the taste of a food. Savoring takes time...and to be honest I can eat a meal quite quickly...and rarely take time to savor the taste of a meal. “Was the steak good?’ I will be asked. I might pause say, “I think so. It went down easily.” 

I love worship and I love being in His presence and have learned to wait on the Lord in those moments to see what might be next or what Holy Spirit wants to do. But that right there is part of the problem I think. Do you see it? What’s next? What are we doing now? Isn’t that the point of worship and His presence? Not really...what if the point is simply He wants to be with us? Isn’t that the Christmas promise? God with us! Yaconelli says, “Savoring takes time. Savoring requires our full attention. Savoring utilizes all of us.”* Understand he is not speaking about worship in general but he is exposing how we have lost the art cherishing, appreciating, relishing God. 

How do I close my mind off to the thoughts racing in my mind to figure out where we are going next to simply savor the moment? Mike tells the story of a dad putting his four year old daughter to bed. In typical fashion there was one more drink of water needed, one more trip to the bathroom, one more story to be heard and finally the dad told the little girl to go to sleep. He went down the hall to his study and was reading or working on something when all of the sudden he knew she was at the door way staring at him...you know how that works. He turned and sure enough there she was. A bit frustrated and a little angry he asked her, “What do you want me to do?”  She moved closer and grabbed his arm and said, “Nothing, Daddy, I just want to be close to you.” In our busy, always in a hurry lives can you hear the whisper of God right there? We are being diligent to wait on the Lord, but there is some impatience in us because we have stuff to do...and think He has stuff for us to do. So maybe we finally just ask Him, “What is it you want me to do? I am waiting.” Quietly He overlooks our attitude and says, “Nothing...I just to be close to you.”*

As I think about holding my son or daughter when they were infants never once did I think things like, “I cannot wait until you can mow the lawn.” I cannot wait until you can feed yourself or drive yourself.” I only wanted to hold them, to enjoy them and to be close to them. And I can say this with all out transparency that if I had the chance to do it over again I would do  a better job at savoring each moment I had with them. 

Savor...I need to think upon this word a bit more...it will not be written in many leadership models unless it is about savoring the wins....successes. Definitely not an aggressive word is it? But it is a word that reminds us to slow down and enjoy God...cherish each moment with Him...each word from Him. Sadly much of the Church has lost the thought of cherishing Him. To appreciate Him. To soak Him in...

Bill

Pg. 87

Pg. 82

Over the past week end I began thinking about an event in my youth, probably about my 6th grade year…maybe 7th. We had music class and we were all in the class and the teacher had each of us come up and sing a part. After we finished she called me over and requested that I come to a high school choir practice to sit in with some of the older guys. I did. There was not much explanation but I sat next to a fellow who I believe was a senior. Pretty intimidating really but he was kind and had an incredible booming voice. In fact later on he went into local TV work, some behind the scenes work and some in front of the camera. Anyway we did that one time…then nothing else. I do not remember her saying that I had a good voice or even that I had potential and nothing more came of it. In high school I was involved in sports and choir seemed like not a guy things to do. More importantly to me…no one asked. If there was something there I wondered why not be a little more persistent to get me to join?  I loved and still love music. 

So for years I figured this was not a talent I had and I listened to others and dreamed a bit. Barb and I married and I was introduced to church music, not choirs at first but a lot of hymns and blue grass gospel singing. We eventually moved to a little larger Baptist church and they had a choir…it was an awful choir but still a choir. I was also introduced to special music, you know the lead up to the the message but a soloist usually. We had some special music in our prior church but it was more of a, “Does anyone have a song to share?” This was more planned out. Then they hired a choir director at the new church. Immediately the choir improved. It was not great but much better and Barb and I joined. Now Barb was a natural and and a great asset to any choir. She had sung in high school choirs and trios in church. I have never heard her sing off key or miss a note…she will make up her own words on occasion;) So I was now singing in a choir…and really enjoying it. No one ever said I could sing or that I had a nice voice but they said I could sing in the choir. Then the director began a young married musical group made up of couples and we tried out…and made it. Again I rode Barb’s ability to get in but we were in. Then a men’s quartet made up of 5 or 6 guys…yep that is right a quartet…math was not his strong suit. One song they gave us to learn he passed out solos to be sung and I got one. First time ever…I began by singing timidly and quietly which really is not singing at all. I have heard it said that singing is controlled yelling…yelling on key I guess. So at one rehearsal I just decided to let it rip, sing like it sounded on the tape. When my time came I let it fly, sang with all my might and heart and it actually went well. The piano player almost fell off her stool as I sang, the timidity was gone and I was determined it was now or never. If it was bad…I would be out but if not, I as going to enjoy myself. I did. 

That choir director in a short time got more out of me than anyone ever before. He left a little while later and I even led the choir for a while, me a guy who could not read music, who did not know 4/4 time form 3/4 time. It was fun. Barb and I sang in a trio for a while with another friend and we had such fun. In my head we were going to be the next Bill Gaither Trio but that did not happen. Eventually we discovered worship. Not song singing…worship. We joined a growing charismatic church in town and fell in love with worshiping God in powerful way. The pastor had our worship leader train me to lead worship and I was over the moon excited. He did not really train me, to be honest. He was such a great musician and had such a great ear for music he had a hard time relating to a person who did not hear quite as well as he did, and I was not musically inclined. I again began leading timidly and it was OK at best. I could sense the pastor was thinking that this was not working and it really was not. So again one evening I decided that if this was going to work I had to go all in. Pretend to be confident even if I was not, sing with clarity and boldness so others could follow. Worship above all…worship the way I loved to worship. Boom, it happened! 

That church went through a lot of stuff and eventually closed and that story in itself is a strange one. But later on I had coffee with the pastor and I thanked him for taking a risk on me, to seeing something and putting me in a place to go for it. I never really had the chance to thank our old choir director but I hope one day I will be able to. I do think I reached out to him on social media one time to think him but never heard anything back. 

A teacher sensed something, I think, but never really followed up. Maybe it is all about God’s timing. Discovering I had a voice changed so many things for me. Developing my voice was fun. I knew I was limited in my ability and yet once I found my voice I could not longer sit back and watch. Most importantly, finding my voice pushed me to discover worship. Worship took me to deeper places…leading worship trained me to lead in general. Moving people from one spot to another place is what worship leaders do. Song leaders my pick a few favorites to sing and that is fine but a worship leader takes you on a journey. 

Anyway, I wondered why I even focused on this memory. It was not that exciting or even disappointing, just a thought from a time past. In the past I probably would have gotten sad or even angry at the reacher for not doing more for me, kind of play the victim card a little bit. It does feel like I was overlooked by her or not valued enough to pursue more. So what…the real story here is how God used others to bring me to a place to discover a gift I loved. He placed me in places to expand and to use the gift. I do not think I would be doing what I am doing right now as a pastor if this part of my life had not been unearthed and brought to daylight. I knew I had a lid musically as I watched other worship leaders lead. I was not instrumentally gifted though I did learn to play guitar enough to lead in our Vineyard context. And that put me in the place to say yes to Jesus when the call to plant was in my lap. I led worship at the church plant because that was my comfort place and had to grow in other things like preaching. 

Why do I even share this story? I think because, especially in leadership, what we do is to dig for the jewels all around us. To hunt for and discover all the Bill’s that might be lurking around waiting for someone to notice what is buried inside of them. Some of it might not even be buried…we seem to be in a season where we are seeing the gifts of some young teenagers and it is up to us to help them develop the gifts that will be used down the road. We tend to look for the more seasoned adult and then we wonder why the percentage of young people who leave the Church as they graduate high school is so high. We overlook them but the world does not…we wait for them to grow up and then it is too late. Ok…that was a bit of a trail. I do wonder why the teacher gave up…but I am grateful for those who took a chance. As I finish up here I remembered this also…The Vineyard took a chance on me years ago when they told us to go ahead and plant a church. I have spoken to the overseers we had back then numerous times to thank them for the risk they took. I did not see what they saw…I was an average worship leader who had a few people say that they would like to see us lead a new Vineyard Church. I was not classically trained scholastically, I was a life long factory worker who loved Jesus and served in every known capacity of church life. No one…no one ever looked at me and said, “You should plant a church.” Only a few thought that being a pastor was a good idea for me…and I was not one of them. Honestly one choir director unearthed something buried deeply, another leader introduced me to worship and leading worship. The Vineyard grew that in me until one day…I said yes to being a pastor…a reluctant yes but a yes nevertheless…I again began leading timidly and grew into it. Thank you Dan Larramore, wherever you are. Thank you Tom Polker. Thank you Rich Nathan and Danny Meyer…this oft overlooked fellow thanks you for not overlooking…for seeing only what God could see… 

Whoosh! That is me blowing the dust off this blog. As a leader and one that seems to operate from a different leadership grid I am so surprised at the places and situations God has put me in. I am stunned when someone talks to me about the leadership I carry and how they see the gift in me. I have laughed on many occasions about how I took the George Barna test on leadership online and how he gently told me that I did not have that gift…a shepherd maybe…leader no. As I think about myself and my journey I have a couple of thoughts…I never sought to be a leader…at all. My strongest gift. I think, is showing up…putting one foot one front of the other and continuing on following Jesus…loving His Church. 

I came into being a pastor kind of different. I had been in a church plant that was led by a young guy. We were there to support and help build the church from the ground up. I had no desire to go beyond leading worship and a small group…and after five years this young leader changed his theology drastically. Went from a charismatic bent to a full on cessationist in a short time. Caught off guard we suggested he speak to the leaders over him to see what they thought. He could not lead in the Vineyard and hold to those values…so he pulled the church out. This is a much longer story but we, with the blessing of the Vineyard, planted our church…with fifteen or so people we began again. My point in telling that story is say I understand when leaders, especially young leaders, change their minds on theology. I get it…and yet I do not. 

As I look over the landscape of the church, at least in the states, there is a constant stream of articles that get passed around talking about another leader leaving the faith. Pastors, ministry leaders, worship leaders, authors of best sellers, leaving behind Jesus and His church. I read this article about another one and he spoke about his journey towards unbelief and he said something like, “I began to wonder if the Bible had gotten it wrong about the LGBTQ questions.” You know I can almost get my head wrapped around a guy going from charismatic to non-charismatic but to ponder out loud does the Bible have this or that wrong is beyond me. No one ever seems to ask, “Do you think the culture has gotten this wrong?” No…it is a Bible problem. I am reminded of a sermon Jesus preaches in John 6 and it is gross and controversial and then Jesus turns to His disciples, “Does this offend you?” That is the problem isn’t it…the person is offended because the scripture speaks to a different view of holiness and spirituality than they are comfortable with. How may times do you hear the question, “How could a loving God send anyone to Hell?”  He does not send anyone there…it is a choice. Hell was created for Satan and his followers…well, now I did it I brought up the devil. How archaic is that? 

Jesus knew the message He brought and the things He would declare would be offensive and even divisive and He still pressed on. John 3:16 is quoted over and over and yet God is rarely seen as loving because His view is much different than our view. For a short time I wrote for an online religious paper. I was consistently being challenged and argued with as I wrote things concerning the church and scriptures. And at least one of the arguers was a pastor…who help low value of the scriptures. Now I will be very transparent here…I am not a great theologian or even a Bible scholar…I love Jesus, His church, His word. I have had many doubts and questions, many times where I just did not understand what God was or was not doing and yet it never crossed my mind to think, “What is the Bible got this part wrong?” It is so strange and even humorous to think in this time of such great enlightenment and wisdom we still stumble for satan’s oldest line, “Did God really say?” Then, because we are so biblically illiterate we misquote scripture or overlook it because culture says we cannot say, “The Bible says.” YES WE CAN! 

The great cultural architects of the day do not know which bathroom to use, what sex they are, how many sexes there are, when life actually begins. They label certain lives not worthy of having life, defend the rights of one human but not of another. A mom can begin at the age of three to tell her little boy he is really a girl. By age seven she can begin the procedure to have his sex changed. The dad speaks up and a jury votes eleven out of twelve that she is right and dad has no say. A judge did intervene but where do you even find a jury where eleven people would think it is a good idea to let the mom have her way here? I would hazard to say that just a few years ago the mom would have lost custody, would have had to go though psych evaluations and only allowed visitation with a guardian in the room. Culture has lost its mind…and the church will lose its also if we keep pandering to culture. 

Pastor/author Erwin McManus says, “The church does not exist for us. We are the church, and we exist for the world.” We exist to be an alternative to what is being presented out there as wisdom and life. An alternative…it will be offensive at times. We do not have to work at being offensive it is built into our message. When Jesus declares that He is the way, the truth and the life and the only way to the Father…that is offensive to culture…and now to some in the church. Strange. In a faith where as we read about the disciples we tend to overlook that as far as we can tell only John might have died of natural causes…and they did try to boil him in oil! Culture killed everyone of them…after of course they killed Jesus. 

Another story in John…after the crucifixion the guys were huddled in a room…afraid. Jesus walks in, through locked doors and all of that and then says to them, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” John 20:21 Now let’s be clear here…they did not find comfort in any of His words there. “PEACE!!!! They just killed you! I mean I know you are alive now but you were dead there for a bit…let’s talk about that…but let’s do it somewhere else!” Jesus had prayed for the guys earlier and in His prayer He did not ask God to get us out of here…but to protect us while we are here. In the Jesus movement it was a big thing to speak of the second coming of Jesus and to think that it as imminent…a bit of escapism I think. He is coming back…yet He left us here. Salt and light…salt preserves…salt give flavor…light allows others to see through a darkness that covers the world. 

Let me stop this ramble with this…the Psalmist writes, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet

and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy…so often it begins with attacking God’s word…he steals the light that lights up the path we walk on. I feel for the guy who let culture put out the light of his path. I do pray he comes back…though I suspect his new found celebrity identity will be hard to leave…One more thought…cannot help it in light of current events…I am not one to jump on celebrity band wagons but I must say…along with Kanye West…JESUS IS KING!!!!

Bill

Vision is Limited

Recently Barb and I took a few days and got away on the motorcycle for our anniversary. We knew of a quaint inn in south east Ohio that sets right on a river next to a dam. The second day we took off for a ride even though the chance of rain was high.  We rode to a town nearby and had lunch with friends and then checked the weather app and saw the chance of rain had fallen drastically so we took off for a nice ride through Hocking Hills park and beyond. Then it happened…rain. We put on rain gear and rode on trying to head towards wherever it looked like the skies were clear. Mind you we are in the country, with hills and winding roads, really winding roads, which is why we were there, to ride the hills and curvy roads…just not in the rain. So the rain kept coming and going until it mostly was raining. We began heading towards the area where the inn was located and we missed a turn or two but the GPS kept re-directing us toward our destination. It was raining pretty hard in places and we began seeing the water running alongside the road, down hill getting deeper and deeper. Missed a couple of big puddles and hit a couple of more. It was difficult for me to see to navigate our way on strange roads. Narrow roads with little space to pull off so we kept moving along with me straining to see the road in front of me. Seeing just far enough to make the turns in front of me we were not riding very fast just trying to work our way to a safe and dry place. There was a pick up truck following us in one stretch and I was very appreciative that he was giving us space yet I was aware he was there. Sometimes I think I focus too much on what is behind me rather than what is out in front. 

Then it happened…as I strained to see the road in front of me all I could see was water. Maybe 10 feet away but more like less than 6 feet away water was running across the road and there was nothing I could do. I yelled to Barb to hold on and she did what she does best…yell out the name of Jesus! We hit the water…I would guess at least a foot deep, maybe more maybe less but a lot of moving water across the road. As we entered the water I kept applying the gas and holding on as the bike squirmed back and forth. I was pretty sure this would end badly…but we came out the other side and kept moving. (I would love to talk to the guy behind me to see what he saw as we splashed through the water.) A mile or so up the road I saw a large building with an awning on the left so I pulled into the gravel lot and pulled all the way up under the awning and we got off the bike. To say I was a little shaken would be an understatement and yet Barb was like, “That went pretty well didn’t it?” She told me,” I knew you could do it so I was not afraid at all…well other than asking Jesus for help loudly and He did. Jesus helped!” The rain slowed down and we finished our trip to the inn…I am not sure it even rained there! Sunlight broke through and we were safe. 

 This is leadership for me. I do not always see way out in front with great clarity. Fact is most of the time it seems like I am struggling to see through a foggy, wet windshield in a rain storm navigating one curve or hill at a time. Rarely do I feel like I am traveling familiar roads with wide pull off areas and run in a straight line in the sunshine. As Barb expressed her confidence in me I shake my head and tell her I was terrified we were going down. I fought every curve and intersection…nothing was easy. I wanted to pull over and call for an Uber driver to come and get me…but there were no Uber drivers where we were…no obvious ways of help. It was perseverance and steadfastness to keep pressing on even when it looked like this ride was going to end badly. It did not…it ended well with a great story to tell, an adventure that Barb says we should celebrate and not miss out on. 

I get it…sometimes leadership is having all the answers and walking with extreme confidence in who you are and what you are doing. Well, sometimes leadership is pressing through a storm, even though visibility is low and there are things like huge puddles trying to take you out. You hold on and press on…sunshine is just ahead…it was not where we were at it was just ahead. We could not sit and wait for it to come to us…we had to keep pursuing it. I think there are only so many John Maxwell’s in this world and for many of us in leadership roles this thing does not come naturally. We try but it becomes mechanical and not real and then we are frustrated. The best thing I can do for those who will choose to follow me is keep getting back up and moving forward. The next morning after all of that excitement we had to climb back on the bike and ride four hours home to attend a funeral. There were no options just get back on the bike and head home…if I have one talent it is simply that…getting back on the bike and riding…not stopping when it really does seem like it would be a good idea. For some of you reading this you cannot relate to my story at all and for others you totally get it. That is why I write…for those, like myself, that find themselves in leadership roles and you feel like you don’t fit the mold. You probably don’t…have you read the Bible? God chooses the unlikely all of the time…be good with it and keep getting back up and leading…we need you. 

Bill 

Really? This is it?

Whoosh! That sound is the sound of me blowing the dust off my blog…and boy is it dusty. Barb mentioned  a friend of hers was reading my blog and I began to panic and try to remember what I may have written in my blog that I regret now…kidding. While my blog has been pointed at leadership issues and styles I hope to expand it a bit in the future. I did find that in part of my writing I was angry at the state of the Church and even at times angry with my own tribe. I do apologize if my anger or frustration seeped in and offended some. Having led a church now for over 20 years a reasonable person would assume leadership would be easier now. I am seasoned…and also my head and my heart have taken quite a beating. One needs to remember that the person out in front makes a great target. And if fear or injury takes over that leader it leaks to the rest of the group. Fear. It creates indecisiveness, makes one want to shrink back and it paralyzes. Quite an effective tool of the enemy. 

A favorite quote of mine comes from a small book a I read a few years back titled, “Jim and Casper Go To Church.”  Jim Henderson, a former pastor and Matt Casper, an atheist go on a road trip visiting about 10 churches, many of them of the mega style. Now let me say up front this book is not an in-depth study of churches and how they work, it was more like a drive through view of church. At one mega-church with lights, and cameras, big cameras and smoke machines and a lot more Matt turns to Jim and asks, “Is this really what Jesus asked you guys to do?” I have never been able to shake that question and again to be fair if we all rolled out Radio Shack sound systems and used hymnals or over heads we would be criticized also. But…what brought this question back to me is the things I see pastors have to be concerned about. The incident that caused the question come back for me was an innocent one. Our sound guy took Barb aside recently and said he would be leaving the church in June. Now before anyone goes off on him let the say that 1st off he is in love and he is engaged to a wonderful young lady and he has decided to go to church where she attends. That is not evil…it is sweet…and it seemed to crush me. Why? How did we get to the place where a young sound person can seem to make or break our church? I read the Bible and wonder why didn’t Jesus or even Paul address things like sound people, small group leaders, or musicians? Jesus spoke to hundreds and even thousands at a time…without lights or a sound person. He fed thousands without a commercial kitchen or a smoke machine. 

My point here is not to criticize all the glitz or to throw my sound guy under the bus, again he has an incredible servants heart, but to unveil a bit about the things pastors and leaders concern themselves with…many times at the cost of them loving their own neighbor! I heard myself asking Jesus Himself, “Is this really what you called me to do?” Can I be real transparent with you? Only a pastor knows the feeling of having a person you love and have cared for come tell you that this is their last week at the church…on a Sunday morning. And they tell you like it is good news! You have to smile when you want to cry. You have to hug when you want to run away. You have to go preach all the while you feel like you are bleeding to death on the inside. Please hear me when I say I am not writing so someone will feel sorry for me. Don’t! I love what I do….even the crazy parts. I love the people God brings our way…all the way to the back door if need be. But I write in hopes some young guy or lady who will or is even now leading a church will know they are surrounded by other leaders who know exactly what they are going through. They actually may be kicking butt right now and they are the place to be…but what they are called to do is not wrapped up in the details of sound, musicians, heating and air or any other thing screaming for their attention. What has to sustain us is making sure we are sitting at the feet of Jesus and taking what we get in our times with Him to the people we are called to shepherd. We need to be living from His love for us, being secure knowing He loves us and that He has called us, so that every day we can love what He loves…and He loves the Church. Not the structure and the buildings…the community of believers who have called on His name.

My blog is called “Thoughts From a Regular Guy” and that is the difficult deal of being a leader, a pastor. I am not special…I do not have a secret line to the Father…I do not live in a bubble…I am not extremely gifted. I am a regular guy…who has been called…and I said yes…like thousands of other men and women. We said yes…to serving the Head of the Church, Jesus, and to loving His body, the Church. One more thing to my friends who are leading churches…when I look into the mirror I do not see Pastor Bill…I see Bill…Jesus follower Bill. The title can be taken away…but who you are in Him is eternal…live there…

Bill

Just...Small Word Large Impact

I just sat down at a coffee shop to begin working on my sermon for the week end…well it is a Tim Horton”s but I did just get coffee. I thought maybe I would connect with my inner-hockey player and not my inner-drink cool coffee person. I will re-connect with that guy soon;) As I walked to the door I heard myself saying to myself, yes I was talking to myself is that bad? Anyway I heard myself say something like, “ I am just a guy who…” Have you had those thoughts before like, “I am just a regular guy who happens to pastor.” “I am just this way and that is how it is.” It is good for us to know who we are for sure, but when we preface it with “just” we tend to down play who we are. I do like humility but downgrading ourselves usually means we are comparing ourselves to someone else…or someone else is doing that for you, comparing you to someone else. Pastor to Pastor…worship leader to worship leader…children’s leader to children’s leader etc. Then we stand back and say that we are just not good enough…obviously. My thought as I headed to the door was “I am just a factory worker who happens to pastor.” Can I tell you something? First of all, being a factory worker was good to me, real good. Second, I have not worked in a factory for almost 20 years! 20 years ago I left the factory and became a full time pastor, though I really despise the term “full time.”

I went through a period riding my motorcycle where I began to lose confidence in my ability. It probably was not helped by Barb asking, “Have you ever ridden a bike before?” Words of encouragement for sure;) But true words, from her perspective as a passenger on the back of the bike, my wobbly stopping and starting was a bit scary I am sure. I switched motorcycles and am getting the feel back…the problem is I did form some bad habits but they are being wrinkled out. Losing confidence riding does not make it a pleasant experience for anyone, the tension you feel is real. A leader that loses confidence in their ability to lead brings comfort and confidence to no one involved. When a leader is walking around like I am, thinking, “I am just” it is not humility, so to speak, rather they have listened to other voices speak and forgot Who called them. Being compared saps the confidence away…and you become “just” another person trying to make it to the end of the day. 

My thought process was stirred up a bit by a friend we are going to visit and he asked if I would talk to his staff briefly about leadership. Right…I am just…you fill in the blank. Hear me…I am no threat to be writing John Maxwell type leadership books anytime soon and yet I am a leader. My task is not to lead to the best of someone else's ability, my priority is to lead to the best of my ability…and to continue to grow in my leadership. My friend, who is a great leader, recognizes something in me that he would like shared with his staff. It won’t be better than he could do but it will be different and that is what he wants and what I or you need to embrace. It is OK if our leadership styles are different. If we stop leading because we have lost confidence or we have heard too many voices telling us what a leader really looks like, there is no leadership in the place God has put you. That void will be filled by poser voices that God has not commissioned to lead…but are filling that void with noise.   

I am not “just” anything…I am a child of God…the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. The God that called Moses, Peter, Paul and more…called me. I joke about arguing with Him about His calling…but reality is…He does the calling…it is His Church…I can hear Him  say, ‘Lead Bill…lead. Share Who you know…not simply what you know.” Hmmm. I will think about that for a moment…maybe go practice riding my motorcycle and think…

Bill 

Whiny but Steady!

I never went to seminary or bible college, I did take some training from a Vineyard online school that was very good. But I wonder if at a good seminary, as the young men and women study to become pastors, are they ever told about how they will be judged or viewed, if judged seems kind of harsh. My favorite baseball team is the Detroit Tigers and for a few years we had a manager that really was one of the best in baseball. Highly respected all through major league baseball by pretty much everyone in baseball. And yet, I believe, one of the things that pushed him to retire was the constant second guessing he had to live with from local sports writers. Now mind you none of these experts had ever managed a team let alone a major league team. Most had not played baseball since junior high and yet they were so much more knowledgeable about all things baseball…at least in their own eyes. Experts just trying to help…if you are a young person thinking God may be calling you be a pastor understand this…there is always someone sitting out there wanting to help you get better. (hint of sarcasm;) 

I want to get back to writing my blog again but every time I sit down to write it feels kind of whiny so I delete. Probably sounds whiny because it is…I mean I have things to say about being a pastor or even what I see in the Church but I need to communicate from a better mindset. The thought I began above came after a long, difficult conversation I had recently with a person who had began worshiping with us, had come from another Vineyard and was now proceeding to tell me what all I was doing wrong, what I needed to change to be more “effective.” The cruncher was when he repeatedly let me know the sermons we preached (mostly me) were light and ineffective. I really should be more like the guy who preached where he attended before. Now listen up…the place he came from had probably the best speaker/preacher in our whole movement. Who wouldn't want to preach like that? Anyway, like the manager of the Tigers this is part of the task of the calling we are called to. Someone, who never has been a pastor, who maybe even has not led a small group will be glad to tell you how you do not match up. And Jesus said we were to love each other…really love! 

My point is this…where do you or I find our identity? Is it in the role we are called to…the title? Do we depend and need the pats on the back and the compliments on a great sermon? (it is kind of nice;) A good friend sent me this as a reminder, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. John 15:16 Yesterday after I left that meeting I asked God why in the world He called me. See that is it…He called me…you. I did not seek this out…I said yes and I said it reluctantly and with much fear. In leadership you may hear on occasion, that you are not doing a very good job. Well, like any good disciple you do a heart check…you make sure you are not phoning things in…then I turn to the One who called me and remember…before He called me to do this…He called me His son. When the music fades and the titles do not matter any more…I will still be His son…find your identity in Him…not in man made measured success. We can try to make the Church run like a business…but it is His body…Jesus is the head…we are the body. So this son is going to go back to his Father and sit with Him…I might not even talk…just sit in His presence…

Bill

ramblings of as I think about life...

I began this blog under the name “Thoughts of A Reluctant Leader” and after some feed back I changed it though it is still there somewhere. I meant it from the perspective I never sought out leadership role. And as it was thrust upon me I did not grasp it as if it were a perfect fit. Like all leaders you do have to find your own armor to put on…Saul’s will not work for you. For many of us John Maxwell’s way might not work either…you have to find your own way. As you find your way you look back to see if anyone is still following. I do think I have perfected the Jesus leadership or crowd control method. One time a friend of mine said he was coming to our church to check it out…I think I talked him out of it. Man, was Barb angry with me;) Jesus would look around and if the crowd was pretty big He might teach something difficult and then say something inviting and including like, “Let him who has ears hear.” Then shut down the meeting…how inclusive is that? Seeker sensitive? I digress.

I tend to think it is kind of arrogant for me to put out there my thoughts on leadership…and yet I know there are others out there that do get what I talk about. I do think you can lead from a position of humility, you can lead without knowing all the answers. You can lead when you are only a half step ahead…you can. My favorite prayer in scripture is Jehoshaphat praying in a desperate time of his kingship. “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.”  2 Chronicles 20:12 I am pretty sure he prayed this out loud! The freshness of having a leader confess his weakness and depending on the Lord. What might it be like to hear one of our national leaders confess they did not know what to do…but were fixing their eyes on Jesus? For sure he would be roasted in the press… but would we rally around them knowing God would be faithful to respond to such transparency and humility? Ahhh…I can dream. 

I was taking with friends yesterday from another country and they were so taken back by our U.S. model of church where we have turned to business models to run the local church. Hiring search firms to hire new staff…hiring outside the tribe we belong to for our new leaders. Like our values are not important as long as the person give a nod towards them in agreement. “Sure, I believe in that too…no I have no experience in that area but I believe it.” We want to see the test results from all the personality, IQ, gift mix, and a multitude of other tests that I am sure help but do they answer the big questions. Yes, the gift mix is awesome…how are he and God doing? Can you discover their character in a test? Passion? Because he passes our eye exam do we know they will fit in our church body? Sorry…I know I am a bit outdated…but I have seen enough over my 40 plus years of being a believer to know…the guy who passes all the tests…many times does not fit. Sorry…look around…search out the results. 

Man I am wondering around a bit…I think as I turn this corner of life knowing I am racing towards the finish line I have thoughts and concerns for the Church. I am in a season where our church has shrunk a bit…transition is all around me…I feel the pain of rejection deeper than I used to. I hear all the talk of the new churches around us that are hot and happening and tend to think I am not that hot and happening leader for sure. It seems to me that every time I take a step forward and dare to be bold another bomb explodes nearby…one of my adult kids in pain…maybe both. Another marriage in the church is in trouble…another disease diagnosed. According to the books I need to walk through all of this like I am coated in teflon and things just run off because I’m the man of power for the hour. In my prayer times I cry out for relief and help…I do keep moving forward…as Rich Nathan would say, one step at a time. “Right foot, left foot. Do it again…right foot, left foot…repeat.” I know that will never sell a book or inspire someone to get on board but to be transparent that is leadership…you keep walking…one foot in front of the other. 

Recently I was listening to a recording of our worship team from a Sunday morning. My daughter is now leading our worship and as I was listening to her and the team lead us in worship I was struck by one thing…I noticed she was belting out the songs. Even a brand new one she just let it rip…and I sensed the Lord saying to me, “You need to listen to her, Bill…really listen. You know all that is going on around her and yet she is leading with absolute abandonment. You need to join her in that abandonment…don’t hold back…don’t focus on the stuff going on around you. Let go…lead with abandonment. Lead with passion…lead with freedom.” Yes, I can learn from my adult children…shoot I learn from my grandkids! Some day I will venture out and talk about what a joy it is to work with your spouse and your kids…not today. 

Bill

Did you know Jesus had a Plan?

 I am preparing to attend a two day prayer summit in a few days…actually helping lead it. Go figure. Sometimes when leaders get together, well anytime leaders come together, they want to know, “What is the take away?” Good question for busy men and women to ask themselves and those leading the event for sure. Now, I am not always one asking the good question or knowing the answer to the good question. I tend to think, “Let’s just see what the take away might be.” Yeah…no one will buy that tee shirt. “Let’s Just See!” Those hats and shirts will be shipped overseas somewhere or in my garage for my kids to discard of after I go home to be with Jesus. I am surrounded by other leaders, including my wife, so I don’t always have to be the “take away” explainer. Someone else will do that, thank you very much. 

This morning I wrote a devotion that I sent out to our church family and on Facebook. As I began my search for the scripture to work off of I found a very familiar story in the Gospel of John that seemed pretty safe to work from. I quoted these two verses; When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat? He asked this only to test him, for He had in mind what He was going to do.” John 6:5,6 I gave some inspirational words and sent it out. But I could not shake the words and the thoughts racing through my mind. Most of you will recognize this as the beginning of the story of Jesus feeding the multitude. Great story, awesome preaching material. I can see Jesus turning to Philip with a wry smile on His face, “Hey Phil, where is the closest bakery?” Phil swallows his gum and says,”It would take us eight months of offerings to buy enough that everyone could get one bite…one bite!” End of conversation…only I love how John says, “He had in mind what He was gong to do.” Jesus! I am shocked! Now another disciple said, “I grabbed this kids lunch…some fish and bread…does this help?” What

a story!

As I pondered, or it pondered me, I am not sure the order, I could not shake the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” Or Andrew offering up someone else's lunch to help out the cause. A friend of mine, a young leader in the city, has this audacious vision, from the Lord, to see 500,000 people come to know the Lord in our region. That is right…500,000. Sooooo you sense the Lord saying 500k. How do you do that? As an older, mature believer in the Lord maybe I should help let him down gently. You know…George…it was probably the pizza you ate. Not sure the Lord would ever have you dream that bi…what am I saying?!?!? 500k? We tend to  want to “save” people from a vision that is very large…too large. I have three words for you: Nin-e-veh! Yes, it is one word, Nineveh. 120k came to the Lord through a very reluctant evangelist. I digress. As I read John’s story today I could not shake off the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” When Jesus turned to Philip and asked how they could feed the people Philip’s reply really was…it is impossible Jesus…impossible. In Andrew, Jesus had someone who also thought it was impossible but had seen enough with Jesus to make a small contribution to the party. 

This is ministry! When He called me to be a pastor and plant a church my first response was “No thank you…that is impossible and improbable!” Eventually I had to come to trust, “He already in mind what He was going to do.” Like Andrew I brought my meager sack lunch, and yes it probably was someone else’s and said, “Here, this is what I have.” The Message translates verse six like this, “He said this to stretch Philip’s faith. He already knew what he was going to do. Jesus was not tricking Philip…He was stretching him. I tend to respond like Philip a lot, you know, being wise in the ways of the church and all. Practical is another word you could use. With Jesus we need to be Andrew…let’s throw in with Him and see what He is doing. Being practical is not always a kingdom word or thought. The call towards Jesus is a call towards mystery as well as ministry. I don’t know how many times I have cried before the Lord,“I do not know what I am doing! Why would you call me?” Now I can see…He already had in mind what He was going to do. We can beg out…or go all in. As a leader who came to the party kind of reluctantly it has always been helpful to know the story behind the story. Yes, He always calls us beyond our gifts and abilities…and He always has in mind what He is going to do. I hear people talk about “their” ministry…I don’t have one of those…I only have His…because…here it comes…He already has in mind what He is going to do!

As we gather at the prayer summit I do wonder what the take away will be. My suspicion is we won’t know much more when we leave than when we walked through those doors. (Don’t tell anyone;) The challenge is will we be overwhelmed at the huge task of taking our region for Jesus? Or will we throw in our fish and chips and join in with what “He already has in mind to do.” I am thinking this is the bottom line of ministry…of leading…finding out what He has in mind…joining Him. 

Bill

Who??? Why??? Well Why Not?

                     Why a “Prayer Summit”?

We thought it might be good to give you all a little personal insight to who we, Bill and Barb Herzog, are. First off we are parents to two amazing grown up kids and grandparents to six awesome grandkids! Barb is a P.K. and being in a small church most of her Christian life she always wondered why other churches seemed to be off limits. No fellowship or working together rather mostly being protective of who they were. I, Bill, was not raised in a church environment at all yet when we married we knew there had to be more to this church thing than what we were experiencing. So one of the first things we did was help organize a youth event where we attempted to bring Methodist, Baptist and many others together for a week long revival meeting held at the local high school nearby. It was not very large but groups like Campus Crusade helped out and friends we had made in a variety churches came on board and we were hooked. We knew the Church was much better together than scattered about. God birthed His heart of unity deep inside of us.

Over the years we have cultivated many friendships with like minded men and women wanting to see God’s kingdom break in knowing His Church was the vehicle He loved. Barb directed an event called March for Jesus back in the 90’s, yes that long ago. This event was primarily a vehicle to worship Jesus in the streets and to bring His body together. At the pinnacle a reported 20,000 participated...marching in the streets, worshipping Jesus together under one banner. One thing we discovered doing March for Jesus is that the average believer had very little problem working together...many of the leaders did. It seemed odd to us that this would ever be a problem. Didn’t Jesus infer that our love for each other would speak to those around us who do not yet know Him? Didn’t He pray for our unity? 

So our hearts are for the whole Church. We planted our church in 1994 not thinking we were going to be bigger or better but sensing the call of the Lord. We so relied on our friends who were already doing it, asking for help, counsel and friendship. Every Sunday after worship we take time to pray for one of the local churches around us. This has worked to remind our church family two things...we are not the only show in town and we are not alone in taking the message of Jesus to a lost and confused world. At one point, just a few years ago, we were part of some “Worship and Healing” nights held at a Lutheran church with a number of churches leading and working together. About three years ago four or five of us gathered to help some friends put an event together.  We kept meeting, moving around the city, well, around northwest Ohio and asking other Pastors to join in.  The group eventually put the name Merge on what we were doing because that was what we saw God doing, merging our hearts together for each other, for our city and region. We worship, pray for our cities, the local church we are meeting in, for each other and then we eat together. It has been amazing to watch leaders clear their calendars to be together. So many stories of lives touched by the prayers prayed and the relationships developed. Two summers ago we put our heads and hearts together and brought in a equipping event called Power and Love. About 25 churches supported the event and up to 800 people gathered to be encouraged and trained to go and share our faith

We now sense God moving us towards the Prayer Summit. To maybe go to another level relationally and spiritually. What might it mean for the pastors in our area to gather with no agenda other to pray and listen. Then to sit together and discuss what we heard. Don’t you think that might be pleasing to the Lord? Do we have faith that He might actually speak to us? A time of fasting, a prayer event in the city and the leaders of his Church praying together and talking….sounds like a God thing to me. Why listen to us? No real good reason...we are just two of His children that love the Church and have a strong desire to see Him lifted high in our city. Don’t let us persuade you...let Him.

Bill and Barb Herzog              

Sixty-Six Reasons People are Leaving the Church! (this is going to be good;)

Sixty-six reasons people are leaving the church today…kind of catchy isn’t it. Do I have sixty-six reasons to write down…maybe, but my ADD would kick in way before I could get to ten so let me just confess to you that I am trying to ride the wave of popularity right now. Yep…I am going to throw my hat into the ring as an expert on why people…young…old…black…white…you know, people, are leaving the Church. First off, the people leaving are obviously not Calvinist because they would know they are pre-destined to be in church…well, maybe they are pre-destined to leave. Oh, this gives me a headache. Let me start over. I am a persistent checker of all things Facebook, which may be my biggest problem, or at least does not help. I would say on the average I will see one or two posts a day where someone is posting an article on why people are leaving the church…or not worshipping…or why men hate it…or why women hate it. You get the point. The Church is a mess. I get it. I think I can help out here a little bit…not a lot but I think I have some deep insight into the problem with the church. I know who to blame here, who has screwed it up. Could it be the “seeker sensitive” church? Or the crazy “charismatics”? Maybe the traditional churches with their hymns and liturgy? The ones where the sermons are too long…or maybe where they are too short? Where they preach the real word of God, the Bible…or the guys who are nicer and use the Message? 

Listen can I take a short cut here and just get it out in the open? The real reason people are leaving the church…well other than they are spoiled? The problem with the church: People. Yep, that is it. The church is full of people…if we can clear them all out the church will be a much better place. Think about it. If you have left the building it is because of a person…someone did not preach good enough, no real fellowship, the music was too loud or they sang it in too high of a key. No one said hello to me or too many people said hello, some fellow human failed you. Most likely it was the Pastor…he let you down. 

So that leads me to the second problem: it is run by people, kind of similar to the first I suppose. Pastors, Reverends, Priests, Ministers, whatever you call them are first and foremost…people…human beings. I am going to blow the cover off a deep, hidden secret…we are not special because we are Pastors. Now I know this will offend some of the people in this group but get over it…you are human. Sure the church is messed up…God left it in the hands of people. I am pretty sure I am the number one reason people leave our fellowship…I could give you a litany of reasons but for my sanity I won’t. As I see it God is not the problem…so it has to be us…people…and pastors are a big part of it. If only when a person said yes to being a pastor the Spirit would swoop in and do a total make over. We could be Billy Graham, Andy Stanley, T.D Jakes, Joel Osteen all rolled into one. We would have all of John  Maxwell’s leadership principles memorized and worked out, we could walk on water if need be and turn water into wine for communion. If only…He doesn’t. So let’s quit beating around the bush on why people are leaving…just come out and say it…people are leaving because of…people…humans in leadership has to be a problem. There…it is out in the open…maybe now we can see the end of the seven reason why articles. The elephant in the room has been revealed. 

As a pastor I take this seriously and personally. I spent the first half of my life as a Jesus follower not as a pastor but as a participant. We served wherever needed. Later in life I responded to the call or maybe I just filled a need but I became a pastor. Funny thing is, I never wanted to be one…that was never a goal. And even funnier, God did not “fix” me when I said yes, He took me as I was. I surely was not perfect. There were much better prospects out there besides me…and we have to know that is how it is in every church. Every leader is just human…not super-human…human. With cracks and flaws. I think then as we try to make up for our flaws, if we are not careful our role becomes more important than God’s role. We are not the head of the Church, Jesus is. I am not that important…He is. When I read criticism of the Church, I do take it personal and I am offended when we try to fix it with new gadgets and ideas. The Church belongs to Jesus…it is His. I think maybe we should give it back. I think when I read the criticisms they reek of our selfishness and if we could stop for a moment and remember the Head we might see our criticism is pointed towards Him. I love the line, “I love Jesus just not the Church.” Tell me…how does that work? I try to imagine me going to Barb and saying, “ I really love your head, but the rest of you is not so good.” After I picked myself back up off the floor I could try to explain myself…or just see the idiocy of the comment. So you can take the Head…just leave the body flop around on the ground. Sounds weird to me. “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. (now that is not very kind John) For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 

1Jn.4:20  I will get accused of taking this out of context but read it again…John is writing to the Church…he is taking away your/our right to say, “I love Jesus just not the church.”  Let me close with the words from a modern poet.

“I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite. Because nobody goes to church because they are perfect. If you’ve got it all together, you don’t need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church you’re confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who greet you there, that you don’t have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability. You need some help.” - Rich Mullins    

Obviously I have about sixty-four more reasons to point out…so maybe I will re-visit this subject again. But let me ask some of you a favor…especially if you are one who has posted the famous “Seven reason why” posts…re-post this. Maybe Charisma News will notice…or Christianity today. This could be my be break…and if you will not re-post this…then stop posting the others. It really does not help.

Bill

Ian teaches on leadership

A while back my grandson Ian and I wrote stories together about our adventures. He would take them in to have his grade school teachers read and we got great reviews;) I am going to share a few of them on my blog and work them into some leadership thoughts. Here goes!

A long, long time ago there was a man called Papa…well that is what his grandson, Ian called him. Ian and his mom lived with Papa and grandma for a while and there was a special bond between grandpa and grandson. Now there is a special bond with all grandkids and grandparents but, I have to admit, a little more when they are under your feet, I mean roof. I am Papa…and I want to talk a little about our story…Ian and me. See we did lots of stuff together, vacations and mowing the grass and even writing some stories. I wish we had written more…see when you have a little boy or girl they do not stay little for long. They grow up and move to bigger and better things. Oh, I see him a lot but it is different…he is getting older. But we have great stories. Stories of snake catching (Ian not me), rafting down a river, fishing for flounder late at night. Lots of stories. I am sure I taught Ian a lot of things but he taught me a lot also. 

Let me tell you about the fishing for flounder night…in Papa’s eyes an awful night…in Ian’s…an adventure. 

One evening, in North Carolina, everyone was sitting around doing very little when all of the sudden Chris brought his big, flat boat up to the dock. He said he was going fishing for flounder and wanted to know if anyone wanted to go. Of course Ian said yes and grandma said she did but Papa, well I said no thanks. As I looked out towards the boat I saw Grandma coming back.  “Aren’t you going out on the boat?” I asked. “No,” she said, “ they are going to be out way too late for me.” Well, I could see Ian still wanted to go so I grudgingly headed out to the boat. Uncle Butch and John were going and Ian was already in the boat so I thought I better go so I could be with Ian.Now looking for flounder is kind of a slow thing to do and takes a lot of patience. You go out at night in a boat with these big, bright lights that shine in the water. Flounders lay on the bottom and if you spot one you take this long spear they call a gig and you plunge it into the water and try to spear the fish. We had to point the boat towards the shore and then just drift along the shoreline with the lights shining in the water. Chris would shut the boat motor off and then start a generator on the boat to send electricity to the lights. The generator was loud and the heat from the motor was blowing right on me. Butch, John and Chris were pushing the boat along the shoreline with their long poles. Ian was up front watching everything going on. They saw crabs, cans, cups, bottles, and some fish but no flounder. John speared cups and cans but no fish. Ian then came back to where Papa was and laid down and fell asleep. The heat and the roar from the motor put him to sleep. He slept and slept. My back ached, I could not move, the hot air off the generator was blowing right on me. Finally we headed back with no fish. Hallelujah! Next, I had to carry Ian out of the boat, up the steps and into the bedroom with grandma and great-grandma. Grandma asked me how it went. I said it was awful. It was hot and it was noisy. It was boring and I never want to do it again! I was kind of cranky that she had tricked me into going. I left the room and grandma asked Ian what he thought. Ian sat up and said it was awesome. He saw crabs and he saw fish and he saw cans and bottles and he saw a stingray. It was so much fun! He loved it! It was a big adventure and in his eyes it was an amazing trip.  Great-grandma and grandma laughed and laughed. It was as if Ian and I had been on two different trips but they had been on the same one…the same boat! Ian saw it through the eyes of a young adventurer and I saw it through the eyes of a bored adult. I wished I could see through Ian’s eyes because those are the same kind of eyes God Himself has. We all need to see this wonderful world through the eyes of a child filled with wonder. Jesus said we are to come as little children…and I think he means like Ian…eyes filled with wonder and awe. Filled with innocence and joy. I learned so much from being with Ian. 

That story right there is filled with patience, wonder and awe. I find as I move along in life, wonder and awe can be taken from you so easily. We take the beautiful sunrises for granted or the colors of the trees in Fall. We see through eyes that have been trained not to trust anything or anyone. Loss of innocence. That is what being with Ian helped me hang on to I think…innocence…child like trust. 

Leaders tend to lose their innocence pretty quickly I think…if we are not careful the disappointments of this world make us skeptics. We become cynical and view things through a dark colored lens. Hanging out with kids helps me to lose some of my cynicism…I remember the movie “50 First Dates” where everyday the girl woke up not remembering anything from her past. It was frustrating for the boyfriend  but think about not having to unpack all the things we have been through to see the world the way Ian did…it was a blast. Why? His lens was not corrupted…I think a leader has to fight to keep our lenses clean of the past to enjoy each day for its own. Thanks Ian! I will never forget that trip…though I have tried;) 

Bill

Friends Matter

Well…it has been quite awhile hasn’t it? While I think things are going quite well since my parents passing it is also obvious there is still some more of the journey ahead. Anyway Barb and I just finished a 3500 mile ride to the Florida Keys and back, with stops in Charleston and the Outer Banks and more with some great friends. To be honest I wondered how I would physically fair on such a ride since I had never attempted anything that long before. We had done rides that were 250 to 350  miles in a day before and by the end it was kind of hard getting on and off the bike. We had a great time! My bike is 12 years old so I wondered how it would do…it did fine…used lots of gas towing a trailer behind it but it was cool. Our guide, Ray, did a nice job keeping the days manageable and yet making nice progress. 

There were four of us riding down together from Kentucky and this made it enjoyable and challenging. We had some interesting moments as one bike would lose power going up large hills in Kentucky. Doing 75 or 80 and then all of the sudden he drops back a ways…then as we slow down to wait he would blast past us once he got it going again. (yes I did say 80 mph…our leaders idea…not mine;) Then…we hit Atlanta…at rush hour…I do not know why they call it rush hour when the traffic comes to complete halt. It was warm…very warm and one of the bikes clutch began to overheat so we pulled over in a divide in the highway…and sat and waited for the clutch to cool down. Now here is where I began to think about a few things. I know the guy whose bike it was begins to feel bad because he is holding us up…but not really…the traffic was crawling! But you do feel the pressure of being the guy whose holding things up. In this time as we waited for the bike to cool off we worked on another plan to get out of Dodge, I mean Atlanta. Danny, (I might as well use names here) took the lead with his trusty GPS and led us away from the traffic.

It was a moment when you realized you needed to slow down or even stop so you could come up with a better plan…to adjust and find a new way. I think life is like this…moments when it seems like we are going nowhere may be the times where we can make more progress by re-thinking our situation. And the guy who felt like it was his fault for us stopping then leads us through an unknown city to a better place. Maybe he was not holding us up but helping us reboot the system and move forward. 

So we moved along…until Ray’s trailer began swaying wildly on the highway. We all pulled over and discovered he had a flat tire. Not good when you only have two to begin with and you do not get to carry a spare on a motorcycle. We put some air in the tire and limped to the next exit. Joe had a repair kit so we looked and found the nail and did a quick repair. I found it so comforting to not be alone on this journey. How would you react to this on your own? Ray did not even know the tire was flat…Danny got his attention. Someone else looking out for you on the road…someone else to notice you have a situation going on you were not aware of. So many want to travel this journey of life alone…not to be bothered by others. Sure where you travel with friends sometimes their breakdowns becomes your breakdowns. Their emergency stops demand you stop also…but sometimes you are the one who needs to be surrounded by others who care enough to stop with you. Even if they cannot fix it, which it ended up we could not do with Ray’s tire, you are not alone as you ponder the next step. I found it refreshing that even in the breakdowns along the way there was much laughter as well as care. 

At one point I became the guy holding things up…I ran out of gas. Sigh…a half mile from a gas station…two miles from our destination that night. After a long day of riding in hot weather I run out of gas…not smart. No one said much. Ray stayed with me as Joe, Janice and Danny went ahead to the gas station. They come back with a brand new, red gas can and a gallon of gas for my bike. Of course they bungeed the red can to the back of my bike so I could be reminded of my mistake. But again much laughter and much help….traveling together…with friends. In my time of need they came through for me…no judging….a lot of teasing….my wife did have to post on Facebook my dilemma. She was hungry and I was holding up dinner:) 

I always come away from our rides feeling much wiser and much more connected. I cannot imagine not having these rides to look forward to…the conversations…the laughter…the tears. All part of the package…I tend to want to be alone…to not bother anyone and maybe even not to be bothered. In this journey we are on following Jesus…we are a body…connected by our hearts to one another. Some look at the Church like it is “the” problem…its’ leaders also. I see the Church as something miraculous that only God could have imagined…and I see so many of the leaders as people like me…broken…but being put back together by Jesus. No one is claiming perfection…only healing. Like the bikes on the trip…I can over heat…be flat…run out of gas…but as long as I am traveling in a group…I can get back on the road again. The longer I journey with Jesus the more I realize I am desperate for Him…and need His Body to walk with. As a leader I don’t think we are called to walk alone or to have all the answers. I think as a leader you have to know who you are…and who your friends are…and let them speak into your blind spots…and be a source of comfort when you need comfort.       

As John said in his gospel…there are many more stories that could be told but not enough room in one blog. He did say something like that right? 

Bill